Free Ashes by Estevan Vega

Stephen!”
    Arson shook violently and screamed. “What? Did you hypnotize me or something?” He touched the soft flesh above his lips. “I didn’t mean to bleed.”
    â€œDon’t apologize. And, no, there was no hypnotism. Are you all right?”
    â€œI’m not sure. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.”
    A grin toyed with the doctor’s lips. “How did it feel?”
    â€œHow was it supposed to feel?”
    â€œHere, have a drink.”
    Arson reached for the glass, liking the way the cold felt in his grip, how the liquid satisfied the burning in his throat.  
    â€œStephen, it seems that this world you were describing is very real to you. And perhaps it is. I cannot yet determine that. If it is, then what you experienced were your memories trying to come alive again in the present. Maybe you have forgotten them, but they are still there, waiting.”
    Arson stared blankly.
    â€œThese images exist inside of you. They’re a part of you. But you must be able to discern the dream from the real. There is nothing you can do to alter these past events. It is rather curious,” Carraway said, stroking his chin. “One sticks out the most. I think it’s healthy that you have now experienced it, maybe for the first time. That’s how this process works. You know, it’s one thing if I simply spit rules of the mind at you, but as you can see, everything’s different when you relive it.”
    Arson sat quietly.
    The doctor eyed him as he drank. “Perhaps these are just your memories and that’s it. I’d love it if it were that cut and dry.”
    â€œNo. That last one, Dr. Carraway. That memory…isn’t mine.”
    The doctor stared at him strangely. “I assure you, once we dig a little deeper, some of these mysteries will begin to make sense.” He sighed.   “I appreciate your willingness to cooperate. You’re very brave.”
    It was like the man didn’t hear a thing. “You’re not listening to me. I don’t feel brave at all.”
    â€œBut you are. Perhaps I need to remind you of it more often.” Dr. Carraway smiled, his teeth glistening like ceramic.
    â€œForget it. If these memories are real, what do they mean? Why can’t I remember other things, like what I’m doing in here?”
    â€œGive it time. We’ve been at this for months, as I’ve told you, but today is a breakthrough.”
    â€œGreat. Cue the infomercial.”
    â€œTake it easy,” Carraway said. “It will come together. Your mind is in startling disarray, searching for all of its lost pieces. On this journey, I can help, but I can’t make it for you.”
    Arson’s mind was swimming. Drowning. Maybe that would’ve been better. He fidgeted in his chair, his skin begging to crawl off. “This isn’t right. None of it fits. I don’t belong here. I’m a good kid, right?” Arson crunched his eyebrows together. “I don’t steal. Don’t do drugs. I’m not crazy !”
    â€œCalm down. I don’t think you’ll gain anything from my divulging everything to you. I’ve already given too much, I fear. You’re brave, Stephen, but that doesn’t mean you’re invincible.”
    Arson rubbed his forehead. His breathing became normal, but he was blinking fast, swallowing often. Still thirsty. He took another sip of water.
    â€œYou’re in here for doing a very bad thing, Stephen ,” the doctor said. “But what happened isn’t your fault, Stephen . You are here to get well, Stephen , mentally, physically, and…emotionally.”
    â€œStop calling me that.”
    â€œBut Stephen is your name.”
    â€œAnd what, what are you talking about?” Arson said. “Mentally well, what? I still don’t see what’s wrong with me. You keep speaking in riddles. You stupid doctors are all the same. No