apologize.”
He pressed his hands against the window seal, bending slightly over. He sucked in a deep breath before replying with, “What’s done is done.”
“I wanted to tell you about Valerie, but I was afraid you wouldn’t want me.”
When he didn’t say anything, I had no choice but to keep going. “You have always been a fantasy to me and I wanted to be that to you. I didn’t have Valerie out of wedlock. I was married before… and he died. I love her more than anything else in this world and she’s all that I have left of him. I was afraid, so so afraid that you wouldn’t marry a woman with a child, especially one as old as Valerie… No. That isn’t even completely true. I hardly thought about how you’d feel about Valerie because I was so hell bent on keeping my real life away from you. Then it got too late, way too late to say anything. I suppose I would have told you. I would have had to tell you. But yesterday morning I was just so embarrassed that you found out the way you did.” My stomach rolled just at the memory of it all. “I had to run from you and the whole situation. But that was stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. Not at all.”
He turned to look at me, his eyes wide with surprise. “Your ex-husband died?”
I nodded solemnly.
He shook his head, turning back around. “I don’t know what I did to make you think so lowly of me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“How could you think that I wouldn’t want to know everything about you from your pains and your struggles? How could you think that I wouldn’t want to know about Valerie?”
I took that as my cue to stand up and close the distance between the two of us. “I was stuck in a fake world. I hated it. I hated myself… I still do.”
He finally turned to face me again, taking my face in both of his hands. “But I love you. I love everything about you. I want to live this life with you: yours, mine…”
I hopped onto my tiptoes, kissing him to avoid bursting out into tears right in front of him. I couldn’t imagine I was lucky enough to have another man, Edward of all people, say this to me.
“I love you too, Ed,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I love you so fucking much.” After about a hundred more “I love yous,” he reluctantly declared that he really did need to get back to work. The primary was looming just ahead.
I nodded and left him to his work, feeling like a whole person again. As I entered the elevator, the doors were just about to shut when Peter scurried towards me. By the time he stepped inside, he was panting from that little bit of exertion and I was feeling considerably uncomfortable being alone in an enclosed space with him. “Oh hello you,” he said in a breathless voice.
I gave him a nod and a half smile.
“Making an office call?”
I wanted to punch the smirk right off of his face. “No, I was just seeing Ed.”
He gave a hasty nod. “So tell me, does he know about your… occupation?” he asked, wagging his eyebrows.
My heart sunk right into my gut where it throbbed, making me want to hurl my croissant right out of me. “I don’t think that is any of your concern.” As soon as the doors opened to the lobby, I dodged out of the elevator, feeling as if I had fallen from one disaster right into another. I had set myself on a path I could not escape, one that could never end well.
Chapter 14 – Edward
I woke up that morning with an odd taste in my mouth. Fights with Nisha had been won and I had succeeded in preventing myself from losing something I hadn’t even realized I had. As I stood up and made my way to my bathroom, my head became engorged with the thoughts of a daughter I didn’t even realize I would have.
Valerie.
It was a pretty name and from what I could remember, it belonged to a pretty girl. I thought back to that awkward morning in Nisha’s kitchen after the only