Free Ready to Love Again (Sweet Romance #2) by Keren Hughes

reached for her arm.
    “Yes, thank you, Clark. You’ll have to excuse my stubborn daughter and me. We weren’t always like this, you know,” she said as she reached out and took the crook of his arm.
    “No, Mother, we weren’t, and you’d do well to remember that what you are throwing in my face is my past. The past is where it belongs.”
    I looked at my mother, the epitome of beauty, but also the epitome of a woman not to be trifled with. The look in her eyes was dull compared to the normal fire you find there. I knew I would have to find some way of making things right with her, but not at this precise moment.
     

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Nine
     
     
    After Clark and my mother left, I had gone to bed. I couldn’t be bothered to get undressed so I had slid under the covers in my clothes. I wrapped the blanket around me like a cocoon. Nothing inside it could do me any harm and nothing outside it could penetrate the shield it formed. I snuggled down and prepared to sleep, feeling mentally drained, but sleep was a long time coming. First came the tears. Warm, salty tears tracing paths down my cheeks. Then came the memories. Flashes of Ethan assaulted my mind. It had been like that for an hour or more before I had finally been able to get to sleep.
     
    “I’ll love you forever, Alyssa Jenson,” Ethan said as he got down on one knee.
    We had been together for two years, and right from the start I had known he was ‘the one’. I could see myself marrying him, then settling down and having children.
    The ring box was Tiffany blue with a white ribbon around it. I felt a smile split my face in half as he undid the ribbon and proffered the box to me—inside was nestled the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.
    “Alyssa Rose Jenson, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” Ethan asked, his voice straining to hold back tears.
    “Yes!” I squealed as he took the ring from the box and placed it on my finger.
    It was a perfect fit and I knew that just like the man who placed it on my finger, it was perfect in every way.
    “You have made me the happiest man alive!” Ethan exclaimed as he stood and wrapped his arms around me.
     
    I woke from the dream, disoriented at first. It had been so vivid, it was like I could reach out and touch Ethan. What we hadn’t known when we got engaged was that we didn’t have as much time together as we were hoping. We wanted marriage, children, grandchildren, and all the normal things but instead, we got pain, anger, grief and a whole lot of heartache.
    I got out of bed and went to the drawer where I kept my engagement and wedding rings. I opened the box and looked at the white gold bands. My heart felt heavy and the beating of it against my chest seemed dull in comparison to normal.
    I pulled out the box of cigarettes I kept for nights like this. I opened the window and sat on the windowsill. I pulled a lighter from the box and lit a cigarette. It was a habit I had tried time and again to break and the last time had been successful until Ethan passed away. After that, I started smoking if I woke from a dream or nightmare about him—the kind where it was so tangible I could reach out and caress his cheek.
    The bitter wind outside was refreshing on my skin after waking up sweating and tangled in the sheets.
    I wished that I hadn’t let my Mother go, but I knew she was safe with Clark. I would make it right with her in the morning, if she would let me.
    I put out my cigarette and closed the window. I slid back into bed and it wasn’t long before I drifted back off to sleep, only this time, there were no more dreams about Ethan or the past.
     
    ***
     
    Morning arrived and with it came a knock at my front door. I opened it to reveal Clark and my mother brandishing a coffee and a Danish pastry my way.
    The hesitant smile on my mother’s face had me reaching out and pulling her to me in a firm but gentle hug.
    I didn’t like the thought that I had hurt her in