Free Black Ice (BookStrand Publishing Romance) by Lexie Davis

shirt. “I had a nightmare.” Ryder met her eyes. “Look, Ryder, It’s not your responsibility to take care of me. I know I sort of dragged you into this, but I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”
    Ryder nodded. “If you want to make a bed in front of the fire, I have a sleeping bag I can get for you. It’s pretty cold outside so staying in here with the door closed might not be a great idea. I nearly froze when I went to the shed to get fire wood.”
    Blake felt tears gather in her eyes. She didn’t know what she wanted. Her emotions were a mess. She should be stronger than this. She knew how to be strong, to defeat the impossible if she set her mind to it. Now she stood before a man, feeling herself falling. She wanted to run away, faster than the speed of light.
    “Look at me, Blake. I’m not giving you pity. You’ve kept this shit bottled inside you for way too long, and I want to help you get through it. Harboring it inside and keeping people locked out is not the way to deal with it.”
    “I’ll remember that when I talk to a shrink.” She pushed past him and settled on the couch, wrapping an afghan around her.
    Ryder crossed the room and knelt in front of the fire to put another log on. Blake knew he meant well. She wanted to believe he cared. She watched his back, the glow of the fire creating a shadow around him.
    “I don’t want to go there again, Ryder. I shouldn’t have said what I did in the first place, but I felt you deserved to know something about me after I’d asked stuff about you.”
    “Did he rape you?”
    Blake bit her quivering lip. “It doesn’t matter.”
    “The hell it doesn’t.” He stood up and turned to face her. “I want to hold you right now, and you know what, I’d bet anything you won’t let me. That scum painted the relationship picture for you even though you consciously know what he did, the way he acted, isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. Men don’t go around using their girlfriends as punching bags. Men don’t force themselves on a woman.”
    She leaned forward and dropped her face into her hands. “What do you want me to do? Tell you the gory details? Yeah, he raped me. So what? I left home to enter the academy at eighteen. I literally sneaked out of my parents’ house with a busted lip, two bruised ribs, and a gash in my leg from a fence I climbed just to get away from him. My parents had no idea where I was, who I was with, until my superior made me sit down in his office and call them six months later. I didn’t tell anyone anything, but he could put two and two together.”
    When she raised her head, she saw a look of sadness in Ryder’s eyes, something she’d never seen from him or anyone for that matter. She wrapped the blanket around her arms, wishing he wouldn’t scrutinize her. She didn’t need his judgment. Finally, he looked away. He didn’t bother saying anything as he left the room. She heard him rummaging around in the closet at the end of the hall before he came back with a sleeping bag in his hands. He rolled it out and left again, returning next with spare blankets and pillows.
    “Come closer to the fire. You’re shivering.” He made the pallet and waited for her to move.
    Blake stood with the afghan wrapped around her and crossed the room to where he waited. She hated feeling hurt. She liked Ryder and wanted to see where their relationship could go. But something within her couldn’t make that first move.
    She sat on the makeshift bed and shoved her legs beneath the top blanket. “Where are you going?” she asked when he turned away.
    “I’m going to make me a pallet in the corner.”
    “Get over here, Ryder.” She took a deep breath, realizing what popped out of her mouth. “I don’t know what I want, but I do know it isn’t to be alone.”
    Ryder stood at her feet, hands on his hips. “You want me to sleep beside you?”
    “Yeah. Just don’t ask me any more questions or bring up my past.”
    He nodded,