Free Zombie Rules by David Achord Page A

glibly. Rick gave me a withering stare out of the corner of his eye.
                  The Riggins house was empty. No people, no zombies. What little food remained had rotted. There was a case of dog food left, and a dog’s carcass tied up to a chain in the backyard. “It’s sad.” Rick said as he tossed the cans into the back of the truck.
                  “Yeah.” I said. “You’re talking about the dog, right?”
                  “Yeah. Did you know how I got Moe, Larry, and Curly?” He asked. I shook my head. “Somebody had dumped them on the side of the road. I found Moe first. About a week later I found Larry and Curly. They were on the brink of starvation. People can be real assholes. It makes you wonder if God finally had enough of mankind’s shit and unleashed this plague upon us.” He stared straight ahead as he drove. Sometimes Rick was very talkative. Sometimes, he lapsed into a broody silence which could last for hours, or even days. I always let him have his space. I figured his PTSD demons were awake and he just needed to work it out of his system. Today, he was talkative, so I listened.
                  He continued. “You know, I wonder how many pets have died just like that dog back there. And the zoos, how many of those animals died? Sad, man. Very sad.” He lit a cigarette, the last pack he had. “Which reminds me. We can expect a lot of stuff decomposing and rotting. Food, trash, unprocessed sewer, dead dogs, dead bodies. The smell is going to be awful. You think you can handle it kid?”
                  I chuckled. “I’ll try not to barf on you. I bet the rats are not only alive, they’re probably thriving.” Rick chuckled in agreement.
                  Rick was right. The closer we got into town, the more nauseous the smells and odors became. We reminded each other to bring gas masks next time. Today we had to settle for bandannas wrapped around our face.
                  “So what exactly are we going to do if we encounter anyone?” Rick was looking around everywhere as he slowly drove down the street. There were abandoned vehicles and corpses everywhere, but we had not encountered any impassable roadblocks just yet. Multiple tendrils of smoke could be seen in the distance. Dark black smoke, indicative of more than just wood burning.
                  “First we pull our bandanna’s down so we don’t look like bandits, and then we wave. Most people with evil intentions won’t wave back. If they don’t wave, we keep going. If they do, we stop and talk to them.”
                  “But keep our distance from them.” He said.
                  “Yeah, absolutely. If we do run into anyone, I’d dare say they won’t want to get too close to us either. In fact, anyone trying to get close to us would make me suspicious.”
                  Rick nodded. “I agree. Zombies on the other hand, we kill on sight.”
                  I shook my head. “We don’t want to be making a lot of noise, do we?”
                  “You make a good point my friend. But I have to warn you, I may have to kill a few just on principal. So, where to first?”
                  I looked at the street sign and down at the map. “Hang a left at the next street. There should be a liquor store on the corner.”
                  “Now you’re talking!” Rick said gleefully. His elation was short lived. When we drove into the parking lot, it was readily apparent the liquor store had been ransacked. The plate glass windows were broken out, and the shelves had been emptied. We went inside anyway. The only thing left was a half empty bottle of pure grain alcohol.
                  “Better than nothing.” Rick mumbled as he picked up the bottle.
                  The next stop was a car dealership. It was also