Free The Cost of Living by David Moody

That’s not too bad. We’ve been
here for six weeks already.
    ‘What
are we going to do?’ she asks. I feel my heart sink. She must ask me that same
bloody question at least once an hour, and each time I give her the same bloody
answer.
    ‘We’re
going to carry on doing what we’re already doing, love. We’re going to survive.
Maybe you should come with me tomorrow to Clive and Christine’s house so I can
show you what it’s like out there.’
    ‘I
don’t want to see it.’
    ‘Well
maybe you should. If you’d seen the things I’ve seen, the things Nathan’s seen,
you wouldn’t even ask.’
    ‘But
what’s the point?’
    ‘The
point of what?’
    ‘Of
putting ourselves through this?’
    ‘What’s
the alternative?’ I say quickly, trying not to let my anger and frustration
show. It’s not her fault and I have to remember that, but it’s hard. ‘Should we
just have let the kids get sick and die? Should we have done the same as
everyone else? I’m proud of what we’ve done and how we’ve done it. We’ve been
through this a hundred times already... there is no alternative, and that’s
fine. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing else out there, because everything
we need is in here, don’t you think? You, me, the kids... we’re all that
matters now. We’re in the best place we can be, and I’m going to make sure
we’re okay.’
    ‘I
know that.’
    ‘Do
you? You don’t sound so sure...’
    ‘It’s
difficult, that’s all.’
    ‘I
know it is.’
    She
holds her head in her hands. I pull her closer, and though she’s reluctant at
first, she soon softens and leans against me. The rest of the house is silent.
Everywhere is silent. And these days the quiet is never ending.
    ‘I
still can’t believe what’s happened,’ she says, her voice barely a whisper. ‘A
couple of months ago everything was fine... everything was great. Now this. Now
it’s all gone to hell.’
    ‘No
it hasn’t. You have to stop this, love. The rest of the world might be gone,
but we’re not. We’re still here... we’re still strong.’
    ‘I
know, I know... I’ve been thinking about the future, though.’
    ‘What
about it?’
    ‘I’m
talking long term here—’
    ‘I’m
glad to hear it.’
    ‘—and
it frightens me. Say we do survive all of this...’
    ‘We have survived it.’
    ‘I
know, but hear me out... say we manage to survive and we leave here and make a
new life for the family somewhere else.’
    ‘Sounds
good.’
    ‘And
maybe it will be, but...’
    ‘But
what?’
    ‘But
what happens when we’re gone? What happens when it’s just the kids left to fend
for themselves?’
    She
has a point, and it’s something I’ve already thought about. But there’s no
point looking that far ahead just yet. ‘We’ll prepare them. That’s years ahead
of us. And who knows, once we’re away from here we might find other people
who’ve survived like we have. Like-minded people. I don’t think the kids will
be alone.’
    For
a moment I’m gone, imagining what it would be like to have the entire planet to
myself. Sure, it would be hard work, frightening, maybe, but what an
opportunity...
    ‘I
just don’t know how much more of this the kids can take,’ she says. ‘I don’t
know how much more I can take.’
    ‘I’ve
told you, love, stop talking like this.’
    ‘And
I’ve told you, I can’t. It’s on my mind constantly.’
    I’ve
been toying with an idea... do I tell her? I figure I should. It’ll be good to
give her something positive to focus on.
    ‘Listen,
I’ve been thinking... we know the development is secure now, so maybe we can
start using the space we’ve got a little better. You and the girls might be
able to go outside. Would you like that?’
    ‘I’d
love it. Honestly, Stu, you’ve no idea how much I’ve grown to hate this bloody
house. When I think about all the effort and expense we went to to buy it and
move in...’
    ‘And
it was worth every single penny. We’re strong