Free Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill Page A

Bigfoot head just before it got blown off by some excited hunter? Of course, there had been countless occasions when a hunter had actually shot at Duane mistaking him for a grizzly or Bigfoot. He had the scars to prove it. That Duane sure was one stupid fucker.
    Lou lifted her gaze from her glass of tequila and looked keenly at her best friend. He had to be the Beaver Bigfoot, for he sure as hell was dressed for the part.
    Duane ran his fingertips over his unshaven chin and looked thoughtful for a moment or two, then gave a grin, scratching his butt with his thinking finger.
    "One thing you got to admit though, your deputies sure have lost a few pounds recently. Guess their delicate stomachs can't take that phantom stink." He sniffed his armpits, "Smells worse than me." Duane gave another grin. "And as for the good people of Big Beaver, well hey, not many seem to mind there's a Phantom Bigfoot in town." He chuckled, "He's becoming quite a celebrity."
    A look of exasperation darkened Lou's face. She had to admit Duane was right about her deputies. They had lost a few pounds, apart from Dwight-another reason she had not arrested Duane. As for most people in town, they didn't take the antics of the Phantom Bigfoot too seriously. In fact, there were some who hoped the prankster would pay their home a visit. It was deemed an honor.
    Lou sighed inwardly knowing that if she did find out Duane was the culprit he'd place her in a moral dilemma. Could she actually have him arrested and convicted?
    Duane shook his head solemnly and raised his beer glass to his lips. He took a mouthful of Bigfoot ESB, licked the froth from his stubbly chin and moustache, then started to chuckle.
    "Lighten up Lou. No one's being harmed." Duane scratched his ass. "Oh yeah, what was the other thing bothering you?"
    She was the town sheriff, a person with responsibilities, someone who enforced the law—she had no one to love-that was the fucking problem. And it was thirteen years to this very day that heartless bastard left her without a word. Okay, so Beau had gone missing. How could she lighten up? Lou gave Duane a withering look.

    FROM HIS VANTAGE POINT seated at a table close to the bar, MB sipped his beer and watched Duane and Lou talking. He was not alone.
    Two very attractive, early twenty something females sat at his table. They were keen fans of the singing duo that consisted of MB and Duane and their adoration of them knew no bounds.
    MB hoped he was going to get lucky that night-lucky with both females in tandem.
    As MB watched Lou and Duane, he saw his furry friend give the sheriff a peck on the cheek. If he didn't know any better it could look like the sheriff and Duane had a thing going, but MB knew all the affectionate stuff that went on between them was purely platonic.
    MB often thought it was a shame Duane and Lou couldn't hit it off with each other, it would sure help Lou's disposition. MB was reminded of an Old Indian legend that said opposites attract. But in Lou and Duane's case they were far too opposite.
    "Excuse me, ladies," MB said as he got up from his chair. "I think I'm needed at the bar."
    The two adoring fans waved at MB as he left their company. "Don't be too long, Chiefy, baby."
    MB quietly approached Lou and Duane like an Indian on the prowl. Neither sensed his approach until he placed a hand on their shoulders.
    "You're not taking advantage of the law are you, Duane-o, my good buddy?"
    Both Lou and Duane swung round on their bar stools to look at MB's grinning face.
    "You two look as though you could do with a . . . stiff . . . drink?" MB teased.
    MB knew that despite being loaded with money, Duane never turned down a freebie of beer.
    "Sure thing, MB," Duane nodded.
    Lou took a sip of tequila and shook her head. "Uh-uh, this is my last."
    MB nodded and caught the attention of Abe as he served drinks to some customers at the bar. He returned his attention back to Duane. "Heard the scoop on the poop yet?"
    "Oh yeah."