Free Not Meeting Mr Right by Anita Heiss Page B

take care of his scars? I couldn't stop thinking
about or looking at Charlie's skin.
    ***
    My stomach had started making noises: dinner was
well overdue. We'd spent the entire afternoon talking
and laughing, and I'd had too much to drink on an
empty stomach. 'Let's eat!' I said, and we ordered at
the bar.
    Sitting across from Charlie as we ate, I imagined him
post-makeover. His scars were bad, but a dermatologist
could probably help. They can do amazing things with
lasers these days.
    Suddenly Charlie wasn't looking happy.
    'You've been staring at my skin all day, Alice. Is it
that much of a problem for you?'
    'Have you thought about having your scars, umm,
you know?
    'So my skin is a problem for you.'
    'Not as much as your jacket,' I joked, hoping to make
light of the situation, and immediately wished I hadn't.
    'I'm sorry you find my jacket and skin so problematic,
Alice.' And with that he up and left me there; drunk,
alone, disappointed in myself. I was shallow. I was a
lookist. I had hurt Charlie's feelings. For sure I would've
been hurt had someone said that to me.
    I am cruel, I thought. I am not deserving of love from
anyone, not even crater-face Charlie. I am not deadly
and desirable and delicious. My new mantra became I am dreadful! I am a lookist!
    I left the bar and blind date #3 behind.
    ***
    The next day, when I'd sobered up, I realised I'd left my
sunnies behind at the pub, so went back to get them in
the early evening. As I waited for the barman to fetch
them from the office I stood at the bar and watched a
gorgeous guy saunter across the smoke-filled room. A
handful of people were dancing to the sounds of a local
grunge band. I'm a retro chick, so the music didn't do
much for me.
    'Wanna buy me a drink, babe?' Even the pathetic
opening line didn't put me off, because this guy just
made me weak, standing there in his jeans with
no cuff s, and tight black t-shirt, sixpack obvious
underneath. No hat. Doc Martens. He looked totally
shaggable. I was back to being the lookist again. In no
time at all we were slow dancing to the grunge music
I hated and I was thinking that I owed Dannie a huge
thank you. My blind date with Charlie hadn't been a
dead loss after all.
    For the next eight hours we danced and drank. We
tried to talk over the live music occasionally, but it
was too loud. I didn't care. I was having a great time.
Then, as the clock was about to strike two, I sensed
that something wasn't quite right. I looked around the
room, briefly frisked myself to check I was still totally
clothed, rummaged through my bag to check my phone
and wallet and sunglasses were there, but all seemed to
be as it should be. Then it hit me. My wallet was much,
much thinner than it had been when I entered, and he hadn't bought one drink all night.
    I wasn't impressed with either of us: him for being
such a sponge, and me for being such an idiot. I was
possibly daunting and desirable and delicious, but
definitely a loser.
    'I've gotta go,' I said. 'I have to get up early and mark
essays tomorrow.' It wasn't a complete lie, I did have
some school work to do.
    'No worries.' He was cool about it. Let's face it, he'd
had a good, cheap night out and managed to cop a feel
as well. 'Don't s'pose you can give me cab fare home?'
He winked and grabbed my arse as if that would seal
the deal. I was gobsmacked. I said bluntly, 'I guess I can
drop you off somewhere.'
    I was shitty as hell, but I wasn't quite sure what I
was doing, and needed to buy some time to think. 'I
need to go to the loo first.' I grabbed my bag and pushed
through the crowded room as he turned to the bar to
finish his beer. The beer I had bought. What a tool.
When I glanced back towards the bar again he wasn't
looking in my direction, so I just walked out the front
door and escaped without notice, leaving Mr Welfare
and a good chunk of last week's wages behind.
    I wrote it up in my journal when I got home: 'At least
it was a night out with straight male company.' Yeah,
but at