case tonight could misdirect her attention anymore.
She had to face what she'd done the other night.
And the kind of girl she'd become.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore, Trace."
"God, Anna, what're you talking about?" He looked stunned, shocked.
"We shouldn't have done what we did the other night. And I don't ever want to do it again. I'm supposed to be a good Catholic."
"But that's what people do when they're in love."
"I don't want to be a whore."
"A whore? Anna, a whore! You're crazy! You're a very good girl."
"I wasn't a good girl the other night. I shouldn't have let you do that. And it was my fault as much as yours."
"But I love you and you love me, Anna. That makes it all right, loving each other, I mean."
He came to her suddenly on the divan and tried to put his arms around her but she gently pushed him away.
"All I want to do is kiss you, Anna."
"But then you know what'll happen, Trace – what happened the other night."
It was all so confusing. She had enjoyed the other night so much for that wonderful blinding moment – but ever since, there had been this burden of guilt and shame. When she walked down the street, she imagined that people stared at her disapprovingly, as if they could see what she'd done, see into her very heart and soul. Harlot.
"It wasn't a home run, Anna."
"It wasn't what?"
"A home run. That's what the fellas call it when – well, when a guy and a gal do the ultimate thing. What we did, well, it wasn't anywhere near a home run."
"It wasn't?"
"No, it wasn't even third base."
"I don't know what that means."
"It's baseball terms, Anna, that's all. First base is a kiss and second base is here," (he pointed to her breasts) "and third base is here," (he pointed vaguely in the direction of her middle) "and a home run is—"
"I see what a home run is. You don't have to say it."
"So all we did was second base. That was all."
Because she was twenty-one years old and because her job forced her to traffic with some very scuzzy lowlifes, some people just automatically assumed that Anna was this really modern type of girl.
But she wasn't.
Not at all.
It had always been Anna's intention to be an absolute virgin on her wedding night.
Oh, a few frivolous kisses with a few frivolous beaux now and then, that was all right.
But not anything else.
"I just don't think we should see each other anymore, Trace."
"Oh God, Anna, don't say that. Please don't. You don't know how that makes me feel. All I'm saying is that if we do things just second base and then maybe third base someday, Anna well, it's our way of proving that we love each other."
But Anna was not persuaded.
"You really do need to go now, Trace. Please."
Trace left.
Chapter 1 0
N ot even the moonlight lent the settlement much beauty. A jumbled collection of ancient mobile homes and shabby little houses, the place spoke of a poverty few white people could understand. The casino's profits hadn't gotten to this section yet.
As Cindy drove slowly through the narrow streets, I saw crumbling cars, rusted lawn furniture and a myriad of windows held together with myriad pieces of tape.
A tiny, dark mobile home next to the creek was where she finally stopped. "Here."
His tan Ford was there.
"No lights," I said.
"He sits in the dark a lot."
"And drinks?"
"Uh-huh."
"You think he's armed?"
"Hard to tell."
"You mind if I take out my trusty Ruger?"
"Not if you don't mind if I take out my trusty Smith & Wesson. I love him and I want to help him but I don't want to die for him."
I leaned over and gave her a quick but tender kiss on the cheek. "God, I'm glad to hear that."
"The battered-wife stuff getting you down?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"It is pretty pathetic, isn't it, sticking with a guy who beats you up and degrades you all the time."
"At least you've put some limits on what you'll do."
"Dying is one thing I won't do."
"You ready?"
She nodded.
"Let's go," I said.
The air was cool now and I enjoyed it,
She had to face what she'd done the other night.
And the kind of girl she'd become.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore, Trace."
"God, Anna, what're you talking about?" He looked stunned, shocked.
"We shouldn't have done what we did the other night. And I don't ever want to do it again. I'm supposed to be a good Catholic."
"But that's what people do when they're in love."
"I don't want to be a whore."
"A whore? Anna, a whore! You're crazy! You're a very good girl."
"I wasn't a good girl the other night. I shouldn't have let you do that. And it was my fault as much as yours."
"But I love you and you love me, Anna. That makes it all right, loving each other, I mean."
He came to her suddenly on the divan and tried to put his arms around her but she gently pushed him away.
"All I want to do is kiss you, Anna."
"But then you know what'll happen, Trace – what happened the other night."
It was all so confusing. She had enjoyed the other night so much for that wonderful blinding moment – but ever since, there had been this burden of guilt and shame. When she walked down the street, she imagined that people stared at her disapprovingly, as if they could see what she'd done, see into her very heart and soul. Harlot.
"It wasn't a home run, Anna."
"It wasn't what?"
"A home run. That's what the fellas call it when – well, when a guy and a gal do the ultimate thing. What we did, well, it wasn't anywhere near a home run."
"It wasn't?"
"No, it wasn't even third base."
"I don't know what that means."
"It's baseball terms, Anna, that's all. First base is a kiss and second base is here," (he pointed to her breasts) "and third base is here," (he pointed vaguely in the direction of her middle) "and a home run is—"
"I see what a home run is. You don't have to say it."
"So all we did was second base. That was all."
Because she was twenty-one years old and because her job forced her to traffic with some very scuzzy lowlifes, some people just automatically assumed that Anna was this really modern type of girl.
But she wasn't.
Not at all.
It had always been Anna's intention to be an absolute virgin on her wedding night.
Oh, a few frivolous kisses with a few frivolous beaux now and then, that was all right.
But not anything else.
"I just don't think we should see each other anymore, Trace."
"Oh God, Anna, don't say that. Please don't. You don't know how that makes me feel. All I'm saying is that if we do things just second base and then maybe third base someday, Anna well, it's our way of proving that we love each other."
But Anna was not persuaded.
"You really do need to go now, Trace. Please."
Trace left.
Chapter 1 0
N ot even the moonlight lent the settlement much beauty. A jumbled collection of ancient mobile homes and shabby little houses, the place spoke of a poverty few white people could understand. The casino's profits hadn't gotten to this section yet.
As Cindy drove slowly through the narrow streets, I saw crumbling cars, rusted lawn furniture and a myriad of windows held together with myriad pieces of tape.
A tiny, dark mobile home next to the creek was where she finally stopped. "Here."
His tan Ford was there.
"No lights," I said.
"He sits in the dark a lot."
"And drinks?"
"Uh-huh."
"You think he's armed?"
"Hard to tell."
"You mind if I take out my trusty Ruger?"
"Not if you don't mind if I take out my trusty Smith & Wesson. I love him and I want to help him but I don't want to die for him."
I leaned over and gave her a quick but tender kiss on the cheek. "God, I'm glad to hear that."
"The battered-wife stuff getting you down?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"It is pretty pathetic, isn't it, sticking with a guy who beats you up and degrades you all the time."
"At least you've put some limits on what you'll do."
"Dying is one thing I won't do."
"You ready?"
She nodded.
"Let's go," I said.
The air was cool now and I enjoyed it,
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