Free My Life in Reverse by Casey Harvell

when I wake up it’s in a tangle of his legs and arms. It feels so damn good and so damn right that I almost cry.
    I slept better than I have in forever. Maybe it’s jetlag, but more likely it’s feeling secure for once.
    Confession? I’m horny and love morning sex, but contain myself. It’s still too soon, although I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last.
    He has work and I have a lot to get done myself. I spend the day with his big white fluffy dog and make a new best friend. It’s hard, but I do my best not to think of how temporary this is, how the clock fights my time here.
    Some people may think I’m nuts. I fell for a guy before I ever met him. I fell for so much more than his looks…I fell for his soul. Maybe that is crazy…but maybe it’s only crazy because it’s real.
    I don’t expect him to love me. I certainly don’t want to force anything that’s not there. I just want to enjoy being here while I can.
    The day passes quickly. I have a lot of my own work to catch up on. I do the dishes despite him telling me not to. It seems silly since I’m there and capable and all. When he comes home he cooks me dinner. We veg on the couch after until he asks me if I want to go to bed.
    Unlike last night, I curl up in his arms. I swear I can feel the good in this man. It does things to me. I begin to rub his chest. He begins to rub my back. I can’t contain it any longer and brush my lips to his.
    That’s all the invitation he needs. It starts off sweetly, but soon a need consumes us both. Our mouths move with fervor and our hands explore. He flips us around and his mouth moves to my throat, my chest—then lower still. It’s been so long since I’ve given myself to anyone and he knows this. He laps at my core and gently stretches me with his fingers. I come almost instantly.
    That’s not enough for him. He does it again and again. “The first time I saw your pussy, I knew I had to taste it.”
    All I can do is groan in response.
    I’m almost ready to beg him to fuck me when I feel him slide in. Now it’s his turn to groan. We freeze for a moment in unison, while I adjust to his size. He’s big—really big—and it feels incredible.
    And then he starts to move.
    I come again and again, eliciting a growl from deep in his chest each time. This man is a machine. Nobody’s ever made me come like this before. I swear his cock was made just for me.
    An orgasm rips through me so deeply that it takes him with me. We collapse together and he takes me in his arms.
    I smile sleepily. “I’m really glad that I came.”
    He kisses my head. “Me, too.”

    3 days later…
    My time here passes too quickly. I get to meet his kid and we get along really well. I get a lot of work done, which is nice to not be behind. I miss my own kids hard, but the peace I find here is incomparable.
    Tomorrow is Sunday and I’m supposed to go home. We both kind of sulk over it. We spend more time than usual on the couch, cuddling and not wanting tomorrow to come.
    With my face buried in his chest, I can’t stop the tears that well in my eyes. “I don’t want to leave you.” I confess.
    His arms tighten around me. “I know.”
    “What if I came back?” I whisper so softly that I don’t even know if he hears me.
    “What do you mean?” He asks.
    “What if I moved out here?”
    “Are you crazy?” He asks with a chuckle.
    “Maybe.” I admit. “I mean I don’t want to if you don’t want me around—it’s okay. But I know I have to leave there, it’s not safe for me and the kids anymore. It’s time to go. And if I have to go somewhere, I’d like it to be here…by you.”
    He kisses the top of my head and squeezes me tightly. “Anything you need, I’m here.”
    “Yeah?”
    “Yeah.”

    The next day…
    Torn. Literally, my heart tears down the middle. My heart wants to stay here and go home to my kids all at once.
    It’s a whole new kind of hell.
    There’s also not really any choice. It’s an