Free Stripped Raw by Prescott Lane

for my heart to be committed. But I can’t seem to help it. No man’s ever talked to me the way he does. No man’s ever looked at me the way he does. And I am sure no man has ever really loved the real me— the flawed, big assed, grumpy in the morning, shoe obsessed, bad sense of direction— me .
    But for some reason, Kane seems to like all of it—or at least he isn’t scared away. There’s something to be said for that. Still, he’s a guy, and I’ve been burned by them lots of times. I keep blabbing while we head down a long hallway and take a big dressing room at the end, stepping inside together.
    “You should see your face right now,” Tessa says. “You look worse than when the doctor told me I had cancer.”
    “I do not.”
    “You look scared out of your mind. That’s not like you, Kenz. You’ve never been afraid of anything.”
    “I guess I just don’t want to start counting on Kane,” I say.
    “You don’t have to count on him right now. Just be open to whatever may happen.”
    I know Tessa is right. I know Kane is a good guy who deserves the benefit of the doubt. He might be a keeper, if I can just get out of my own way. “I’m just conflicted. I really like him, but so many. . . .”
    “Don’t lump him in with the rest.”
    I exhale and slip on the first pair of jeans, zipping them up and fixing the button before eyeing myself in the mirror. I die a little inside every time I try on jeans.
    “Those jeans look great,” Tessa says. “They fit perfectly.”
    “Except the waist.”
    “Must be terrible to have a tiny waist.”
    “It is when you have a big ass! These are like every other pair of jeans. If they fit my booty and thighs, they’re too big in the waist.”
    “That’s what you call ‘big booty girl problems,’” she says.
    “ Big booty girl problems ?” I laugh then try on a shirt Tessa picked out. “Speaking of problems, I’m going to check in again with that specialist in Chicago tomorrow.”
    Her frustration is written all over her face. “What did the specialist tell you last time?”
    “He doesn’t think he can help, but I know I can get him to change his mind. And if he keeps blowing me off, there’s always that clinical trial in Houston where. . . .”
    “Didn’t they tell you I’m not a candidate?”
    “Yeah, but we could go to Switzer. . . .”
    “Kenzie, I don’t want to spend what time I have left chasing down dead ends, toting Zoe here and there and everywhere—all across the globe.”
    “Okay, no Europe, but I’m still going to keep trying. I actually just read this article that. . . .”
    Tessa covers her ears. “We’re not talking about this anymore! I’m pulling big sister rank here! And we are talking about you and Kane. You have to stop thinking every man is going to leave you.”
    “They all do.”
    “Until the one that doesn’t,” Tessa says. “Don’t be so scared of losing him that you miss out on loving him.”
    “But what if I let myself love him with everything I have and he still leaves?”
    “Loving someone is never wrong,” Tessa says. “One of the most beautiful parts of loving someone is how it changes you—not how it changes them.”
    *
    Zoe laughs as I frantically wave my hands in front of my face. She apparently thinks it’s funny I’m about to die in the process of changing her. For such a tiny little girl, Zoe poops like a champ. I fasten the diaper, lift her up, then kiss her belly. “Kane’s coming over,” I tell her, and she lets out a loud squeal.
    Kane doesn’t know yet, but I have to watch Zoe tonight. Our plan for the evening, to order takeout while I catch up on some work, which wasn’t an ideal date to begin with, just got significantly worse. I hope he’s alright with the change. He’s always good with Zoe, but he’s going out of town in a few days, and the last thing he may want to do is help me watch her tonight. We need to have a serious conversation. I know it’s time. If our