Free Stalking the Vampire by Mike Resnick Page B

been at it for about thirty seconds when a second mage, dressed in similar patterns though different colors, emerged from the shadows and also began chanting.
    The first mage stopped, surprised. “Bernie!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
    â€œHi, Sam,” said Bernie. “How's the wife?”
    â€œJust fine. Your boy still at college?”
    â€œYeah. He graduates next month.” Bernie's face glowed with pride. “He's coming into the family business.”
    â€œ Mazel tov! ” said Sam. “As soon as I'm through bringing this poor son of a bitch back, let's go out for a drink.”
    â€œYou talking about Horace here?”
    Sam pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and read it. “Yeah, that's his name. How'd you know it?”
    â€œBecause Horace hired me to let him sleep the Sleep of Eternity,” said Bernie.
    â€œHe knew he was going to die?”
    â€œIf you were married to a yenta like that, wouldn't you figure your days were numbered—or at least hope they were?”
    â€œWell, I like that!” bellowed the burly woman.
    â€œHey, lady, take a hike,” said Bernie. “We're talking business here.”
    â€œYou!” yelled the woman, pointing at Sam. “I hired you to bring him back from the dead! If you're not going to do what I've paid for, I want a full refund and I'll get someone who keeps his bargains.”
    â€œLady, that suits me just fine,” said Sam. He made a mystic sign in the air and the woman froze, motionless. Sam pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of a hidden pocket, walked over, and slid it between her lips. Then he turned back to Bernie. “Let the poor bastard stay dead. Who can blame him?”
    â€œSounds good to me,” said Bernie. “Come on. I'm buying the first round.”
    The two mages walked off, arm in arm. As they reached an exit, Sam turned back and snapped his fingers, and the woman came back to life. She pulled the bill out of her mouth, stared at Horace's corpse for a moment, then cursed and shook her fist in the air. “You're not getting out of it that easily, you no-good deadbeat! I'll be back with another mage, and then another, until one of them finally does what I pay him to do. But one way or the other, Horace Neiderkamp, you're raking the yard and painting the closets, and that's all there is to it.” She glared at him. “If you think a little thing like death is going to get you off the hook…”
    She wandered off, still muttering threats and imprecations, and Mallory kept looking at corpses, some lying quietly on their slabs, some cursing a blue streak, some seeming to exist in a confused state midway between life and death.
    â€œThe kid would have to get himself killed on All Hallows' Eve,” he complained, not even aware that he was speaking aloud. “It couldn't be some normal night when they only schlep a dozen or so corpses into this joint.”
    â€œMaybe we can come back on Some Hallows' Eve and it will only be half as crowded,” suggested Felina helpfully.
    â€œThanks for the tip,” said Mallory sardonically. “Hop up onto one of these tables and see if you can spot McGuire, and let me know if he's making any progress at all.”
    Felina leaped lightly to a table and peered across the room, then giggled.
    â€œWhat is it?” asked Mallory.
    â€œHe thought he was pinching a real woman, but it was a witch,” explained Felina. “Now she's beating him with her broom.”
    â€œLittle bastard's really got to watch his appetites,” remarked Mallory. “You never met Rupert Newton, did you?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œThen there's no sense asking you if you can see him, is there?”
    â€œCertainly there is,” said Felina.
    â€œOkay, can you see him?”
    â€œI don't know,” she answered. “What does he look like?”
    Mallory resisted the urge to say that he looked exactly