Free Wife and Mother Wanted by Nicola Marsh

I’m going to spend some time with the kids. At least I might get a civil conversation out of them.’
    ‘Look, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Wouldn’t you rather stick around here with the grown-ups?’
    As far as an apology went it was completely inadequate, and he knew it. But he had to start somewhere, and hopefully she’d listen. Not that he’d blame her if she didn’t. She was right. He did have a chip on his shoulder, and he used it to push everyone away.
    He didn’t want pity.
    He didn’t want affection.
    Getting close involved pain and loss and devastation, and he couldn’t go there. Though maybe, just maybe, having Carissa in his life could change all that.
    ‘Grown-ups?’ She looked him up and down, wrinkling her nose as if he were the last man on earth she’d want to spend time with. ‘When you grow up, let me know.’
    And with that she headed into the garden, where the kids cavorted and trailed after her like the Pied Piper, reinforcing how popular she was with everyone. And what a low-down grouch he was.
    ‘You’ve lost your touch, sonny.’
    He jumped, wishing Daisy wouldn’t sneak up on him like that. She’d always done it, even when Jackie was alive, pronouncing her view on the world—usually the opposite of his—as if he was interested.
    ‘My touch?’ If he played dumb, perhaps the old bat would leave him alone.
    ‘With the ladies. You’ve been hiding behind your grief for far too long, and it’s high time you shrugged off that hair jacket and moved on with your life.’ She folded her arms and nodded emphatically, almost dislodging her blue-rimmed spectacles in the process.
    ‘Tell me what you really think,’ he muttered, not in the mood for this lecture. Not that he’d ever be in the mood.
    ‘I usually do—not that you listen,’ she said, knocking on his head with a bony knuckle. ‘Mmm, not hollow, which means you have got half a brain in there. When are you going to start using it?’
    Daisy pointed at Carissa, currently on all fours, withMolly clambering on her back. ‘See that young lady down there? She’s a gem, and what’s more she’s crazy about your daughter. And, by Molly’s constant chatter, the feeling is mutual. So what are you going to do about it?’
    He watched Molly shriek with laughter as Carissa bucked like a bronco and his daughter tumbled onto the lawn, taking Carissa with her.
    ‘Just what I’m doing now. Encouraging their friendship.’ And working through my own warped feelings .
    Carissa was a warm, caring woman, and the last thing he wanted to do was build false hopes. He knew a woman like her would demand it all—one hundred per cent emotional commitment—and so she should. She deserved it, for he’d yet to meet anyone with a kinder heart than his neighbour.
    However, right now he could barely offer her ten per cent of his screwed-up emotions. The icy wall he’d built around his heart years ago might be slightly thawing, but it would take time. And courage to face the demons that the thaw had awakened.
    Daisy shook her head and cast him a pitying glance. ‘Jackie wasn’t exactly the best wife and mother, yet here you are, using her memory to push away a woman who could help heal you and bring joy to your daughter’s life.’
    ‘I don’t want healing.’
    Not until he was sure he could face all the possibilities that healing might entail—like a possible relationship, a possible reopening of old wounds, a possibility of letting himself love and be hurt again.
    Daisy patted his arm. ‘No, you don’t want healing. You need healing. Just don’t take too long in makingup your mind where Carissa’s concerned, because I have a feeling a smart girl like her won’t wait around for ever.’
    ‘Daisy, butt out.’
    ‘Gladly, my boy. Just remember what I said.’ With one last squeeze on his arm, Daisy walked away to join the party, leaving him with a distinct urge to run as far as he could in the opposite direction.
    So the old