Free High The Vanes (The Change Book 2) by David Kearns

true ‘friend’ since she always regarded me as her ‘mistress’. I recalled my arguing, all those years ago at Plas Maen Heledd, that she was my friend, adamant that our relationship was exactly that. The passing years had shown me that I was wrong to believe that. We had an enormously warm relationship, she would do literally anything for me, but I would hardly call her a ‘friend’ any longer.

    My conversations with Nefyn were in fact opening my mind to the fact that I was as lonely as he was. Yes, I had a true, loyal and honest servant, but I had lost my family, lost my grandfather most of all, and had been alone since he had gone. Even before they took him, perhaps, because the relationship I had had with him before we reached Plas Maen Heledd had dwindled while we were there. The work had drawn him away from me. Now I found myself, approaching my twentieth year, living a strange life cut off from everything I had known before. I knew that life had been a sham, but it had been where I spent my childhood and early adolescence. Since then I had lived through a series of incomprehensible existences, plunging into unknown territory after unknown territory, constantly being told that I was the ‘Expected One’.

    The terrible truth, it dawned on me more and more, was that I had no idea what was expected, what they expected of me, indeed who ‘they’ were and what they wanted me to do. Looking back, it was no wonder that I mistakenly believed that Nefyn could help me through the chaos of my life.

Chapter 19

    The next day I managed to persuade Nefyn to come outside with me again. We walked about the strange site, filled with the broken walls of the old Romans. I climbed up on one and walked a little way along it. Like all of them, it suddenly stopped. When I made to jump off it, Nefyn said, “Be careful,” and put out his hand. I put out my own but he dropped his before they touched, and I jumped off the wall on my own.

    “Why are you afraid to touch me?” I said.

    “I’m not.”

    “You held out your hand but when I held out mine you took yours away. Why did you do that?”

    He shrugged and walked on.

    “Tell me more about your favourite story. Did the woman in the story have a name?”

    “Yes. She was called Helen. Helen Luyddawc. Though I do not know how to say that second word properly.”

    “I suppose she was beautiful?”

    “All women in stories are beautiful. Of her the story says,

    And he saw a maiden sitting before him in a chair of ruddy gold. Not more easy than to gaze upon the sun when brightest, was it to look upon her by reason of her beauty. A vest of white silk was upon the maiden, with clasps of red gold at the breast; and a surcoat of gold tissue upon her, and a frontlet of red gold upon her head, and rubies and gems were in the frontlet, alternating with pearls and imperial stones. And a girdle of ruddy gold was around her. She was the fairest sight that man ever beheld.

    I remember that. Exactly as it was written. That was how he saw her in his dream.”

    “And was she the same when he found her?”

    “The same.”

    “He was a fortunate man. To have seen such a beauty in his dream and in reality.”

    “Then I must also be a fortunate man.” He turned and looked directly at me.

    “What did you say?” I said.

    “I have seen you in my dreams. And now you are real.”

    “You saw me in your dreams? That’s not possible. You’ve never seen me before I came here.”

    “Macsen Wledig dreamed. And he sought his dream and found her. Why not me?”

    “But it’s just a story. You probably dreamed about a woman because you are a man. When I arrived you think I am that woman because you have seen no other.”

    He looked at me and smiled. He did not smile very often.

    “What about Eluned?” I said. “Do you think she is beautiful?”

    “Yes. But she does not possess beauty such as yours.”

    “You flatter, Nefyn. It is meaningless. Tell me what happened to the