meeting him and his friends at a party downtown. I’m wearing a two-toned chocolate brown and yellow color-blocked high-waist mini skirt with gold beaded details, and a black, brown, and yellow star-designed cropped sweatshirt with a gold jeweled neckline. I’ve paired it with black and gold spiked platform peep toe booties, in addition to gold accessories. I flat ironed my hair into layered curls. My hair had grown since being in Atlanta; it’d grown from my shoulders to my bra strap.
When I was in Detroit, I had cut my hair in a short bob and gotten my navel pierced in my rebellion from Shane. He never wanted me to cut my hair. I had found out he had cheated on me, so I cut my hair in an attempt to re-invent myself and piss him off. That resulted in him berating me and giving me looks of disgust any time he saw me styling my hair, or wrapping it at night. I felt so bad I began growing it back out immediately. I actually prefer it long. I’d just cut it to piss him off.
I applied light make-up and went with a nude lip. When I left the house to meet up with Charity, I was feeling myself. Nicki, Beyoncé, and I sang about it all the way to Charity and Marcus’ apartment. Marcus had bailed on us because his boyfriend was feeling neglected, so they were going to dinner and a movie.
When I arrived at Charity and Marcus’ apartment, of course Charity wasn’t ready. Marcus opened the door for me.
“Oh look at you, looking all cute,” he squealed while I turned around and gave a fierce model walk into the living room, laughing as we entered the kitchen, where he poured me a glass of wine. “You may as well sit down and have a glass of wine, because her ass hasn’t even gotten in the shower yet. You know if I’m not on her, she takes forever to get ready.” I take a quick sip of Chardonnay that he poured.
“It’s cool. I’m early anyways.” I take a seat at the dining room table.
“So tell me about Troy. Did he call the other day?” he inquires as he takes a seat across from me. I told Marcus about Troy and I’s conversation, and that I wouldn’t agree to a date with him.
“I’m glad you finally talked to him but Laurie, why are you punishing him? I don’t think your actions towards him are justified.” I stared at him with confusion.
“What? Why do you say that? He left and didn’t speak to me for two months. He shouldn’t think that he can just come and go in my life. If he wants the relationship he’s telling me he wants, then he doesn’t get to take off on me and return as if everything is okay.”
“I understand that Laurie, I do. However, you withheld some big information from him. You let this man fall for you knowing you were still married. Then you were still communicating with Shane. How was he supposed to feel? He needed time to process that. You expected him to just accept the fact that you omitted detrimental information from him. Information that actually could have affected his business. Come on L’oriel, are you being reasonable? You’re punishing him for Shane’s wrongdoings. You haven’t been that hard on Shane, and he’s the one that really hurt you. You have to be woman enough to let him know he hurt your feelings. However, don’t punish him. You know you want to go out with him. So why are you punishing him? Or yourself, for that matter.”
I sat quietly to reflect on what Marcus said. It wasn’t my intention to punish Troy. I just don’t want to get into the same relationship that I was in before. I didn’t stand for anything and fell for everything. Troy is a very rich man who could have anyone that he wants. Shane was a boy that came from parents who’d had plenty. He could have had any woman or girl that he wanted just from that fact alone. I let him get away with so much because I felt that I was so lucky to be chosen. I considered myself lucky, so lucky that I allowed myself to be treated poorly. Who was going to want me? Who was going to take care of me?