Free Breathing For The First Time by Mary E Thompson

days, and everything will be okay again.
    I’m not risking going back to my room, at least not until I know Rachel is asleep. I need to pack, but I’m not ready to face Rachel.
    Being with Brooke again makes me feel alive. Even walking around and holding her hand tells me the world is right. I’m not going to screw this up. I hurt her this week, but I’m not going to hurt her anymore.
    The pool is deserted, but I sit down. It’s quiet out here, most of the guests and staff are sleeping. The water looks good. If I had a suit on I would jump in the pool, but I’m not going in in my clothes. I move to the edge of the water and hang my feet in. With my eyes closed, I let my mind wander back to dancing with Brooke, holding her close, her breath on my neck, and her lips pressed against mine. I can’t wait to be with her again.
    The sun peeks over the edge of the water, like a kid at the stairs on Christmas Eve. Somehow I know Brooke is watching the sunrise, and I wish I could sit with her. The sunrise marks a fresh start. This is the beginning of my life with Brooke. And it’s going to be beautiful.
    But first I have to deal with Rachel. 
    I pull my feet from the cool water and decide to face Rachel. I walk the steps back to our room. I’m sure she’s pissed, but I’ve been telling her all week that we’re over. Not to mention we broke up three months ago.
    Sure enough, when I get back to the room, Rachel is awake. She’s always been a morning person, but it looks like she didn’t sleep last night. Her back is to me and she’s stuffing clothes into her suitcase.
    I close the door softly, not wanting it to echo through the soundless hallway. Rachel freezes for a moment when I come in, but quickly resumes her packing, ignoring me. I walk to my side of the room and pull my bag out from under the bed. I open the drawers I’ve been using for my clothes and toss them in my bag.
    I feel Rachel’s eyes on my back, but keep working. Our departure from the ship is early and I want to get some breakfast. The staff will be coming around soon to get the bags for check-out and we need to get them into the hall. I move to the bathroom and shove all my stuff into a plastic bag, zipping the top closed and dropping it into my bag.
    Packing only takes me a few minutes, and when I’m done I grab my backpack and slide a change of clothes, my passport, and a book inside. I drop my duffle bag outside the door and turn around to face Rachel.
    Her green eyes are rimmed with red and she looks like she’s been crying most of the night. For the first time since we’ve been on this trip, she’s completely clothed instead of parading around me in her underwear, or nothing. She’s finally accepting what I’ve been telling her for days, really for months.
    I run my hand through my hair, trying to figure out what to say to her. I don’t owe her an explanation, but it’s clear she’s hoping for one, and really, she deserves it. We haven’t been together in months, and it’s none of her business if I’m with Brooke, but Rachel isn’t a stranger. I thought I was in love with her at one point in time. Before I met Brooke and realized what real love is. How do I explain that?
    I sit down on the edge of the bed and look at Rachel. She seems different to me today. I know she’s hurt, but the pain looks fresh. Obviously, for me, our relationship was over a long time ago, but these last few months don’t seem to have healed Rachel.
    “I’m sorry,” I begin. I know I owe her more than that, but I’m not entirely sure what.
    She offers a small smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “You seem happy with her. Or at least, you seem happy now. You were pretty miserable all week.”
    “It was just... awkward. I guess all of this is awkward.”
    “We can still be friends, Ty. I don’t want to lose you in my life. I can tell you’re in love with her, but your friendship means a lot to me.”
    I sigh, knowing we won’t really stay friends,