Free The Big Fat Cow that Goes Kapow by Andy Griffiths Page A

man
              called Three-coat Keith.
                  He wears one coat on top
          and two underneath.

    Keith has a brother
called Five-hat Ed.

    He wears five hats
on top of his head.

    And this
      is their sister,
          One-dress Daisy.

    She shares her dress
          with her best friend, Maisie.

LUMPY-HEAD
FRED

Have you heard
    about the boy called
    Lumpy-head Fred?

    He sleeps
at the top
of a
100-decker
bed!

    But
poor
old
Fred
always
falls
out of
bed.

    Which
is why
he has
such a
lumpy
bumpy
head.

BRAVE DAVE

            This is Dave
                          who, during the day,
is
    REALLY,

REALLY,

    Â Â Â Â But, during the night,
    when there’s no light,
    Dave is NOT brave.
He takes fright.

    Each noise
he hears
increases
his fears.
    Every
BUMP,
    every
THUMP
    makes his
poor heart
JUMP!

    He sucks
his thumb.
    He
calls
for
his
mum.
    He can’t wait
for the
morning
to come.

    So if you need
a brave job done
call Dave in the day …

    but, at night,
call his mum.

RUTH’S SUPER SCOOTER

Here comes Ruth.
Ruth rides a scooter.
Ruth rides a scooter
with a super-loud hooter.

    With a super-hoot here …

    and a super-hoot there.

    Here a hoot.

    There a hoot.

    Everywhere a super-hoot!

    We think Ruth
would be a LOT cuter
if she’d only stop blowing
her super-loud hooter.

MIKE’S BIKE

Here comes Mike.
Mike rides a bike.

    Mike rides a bike
with a …

very

big spike!

    We don’t like Mike
or his big spiky bike.

    Let’s go somewhere
a little less Mikey!

    Let’s go somewhere
a little less spiky!

SOMEWHERE LESS
SPIKY

Here is a town
that is really incredible.
You can eat what you like
because
everything is edible.

    Here is a sea
where you
can breathe
under water.

    You can stay
under water
for an hour
AND a quarter.

    Here is
a planet
where people
can fly.

    And the clouds
are like
trampolines
up in the sky.

    And here is a land
with big fat
rain.

    It’s raining
big fat cows
again!

    A big cow here.

    A fat cow there.

    Big fat cows are

    Oh no—watch out!
Don’t look now!
Here comes that
EXPLODING cow …