Free My Ride is a Bitch (The Kurtherian Gambit Book 13) by Michael Anderle

she did notice the slight amount of aggravation Ryu allowed to show at being caught.  

    “Don’t get your tighty-whities in a bunch. Wait, do you guys even wear banana hammocks? I mean, I suppose it could leave your cherries in a bunch and all, or do you let the grapes-of-wrath just swing as God intended?”

    Hirotoshi dipped his head in acknowledgment and went inside the house first. Ryu brought up the rear and answered, “Yes, we use the German Ein Dickenhammaker variety,” he whispered, completely straight-faced.

    Tabatha went to the sink once she got inside, filled up a cup and started drinking before she pieced together what Ryu said. Then, Ryu noticed she spit out the water, started choking and laughing at the same time as she slapped the granite beside the sink, “Ein dickenhammaker, PRICELESS!” Then, she started choking again and had to try to stop laughing for a minute.

    Ryu turned to Hirotoshi, who winked at him while Tabitha kept sputtering, “Guys! Cough…cough…guys, dammit, that shit is …cough…funny! Oh my God, Dickenhammaker!” She finally got herself under control and turned around and smiled at Ryu, “Ok, we are one and one. I found you guys in the shadows, but you nearly killed me with a joke.”

    She walked past the two into the large eating area, “Come join me here, we have an assignment.”

    Ryu lifted an eyebrow to Hirotoshi who gave a tiny shrug and both followed their leader to the large table and sat down.

    Tabitha pursed her lips, “Ok, we ain’t got much to go on so far. We have three mercenaries who are no longer with us but were hired by parties unknown. We, of course, need to put real names behind unknown . It, perhaps, might have been nice to see if these guys had overheard anything, but I understand our Queen was short of patience. I am totally behind this and support her one-woman effort to rid the Earth of dipshits and dingbats who harm kids.”

    There was a long pause before Hirotoshi said, “But?”

    She shrugged, “I just wish she would get a little more information between judgment and execution.”

    Tabitha sucked in a large breath and finally released it in a rush. She turned to her right, “Let me ask this question, Hirotoshi. Do we need this location any longer?”

    “This house?” he asked. Tabitha nodded, “No. We can operate from any location. Since the Queen has fixed our sun issues, nothing is keeping us indoors any longer. We can work anywhere.”

    Tabitha’s eyes drew together, “Are you saying we can stay out in the woods?”

    “Easily,” Ryu responded, “Most of our team learned to live off of the land as little kids. As vampires, we often would need to go underground to hide from the sun. You learn to get rid of any fear of bugs, snakes, insects…”

    “Stop!” Tabitha had her hand up, “I’m South American, we deal with lots of stuff. However, this PYT is not into creepy crawlies anywhere near my hair, or any location that can be considered an entry point. So, let’s focus on leaving disgusting methods of sun aversion for the history books and figure out how to procure what we need to sleep above the insects, not with them.”

    Tabitha, so intent on watching Ryu failed to notice a very small smirk form on Hirotoshi’s face.

    “Ok,” she took control of the conversation again, “We don’t need this location, then I want you guys to work with me on how we can stay mobile. We will designate any semi-permanent location our base of operations and I want us to be able to leave any place within fifteen minutes. I know you guys are lean so that probably isn’t your problem. However, I need to teach at least one of you, maybe two of you computer hacking skills. Do we have anyone on the team that would be interested?”

    “Most would be interested,” Hirotoshi answered, “when you live a few hundred years, you learn that curiosity solves a lot of problems.”

    “Ok, who has the most proclivity to learn