Free Roses & Rye (Toil & Trouble Book 3) by Heather R. Blair

his jaw is hard. In a show of tenderness that makes me avert my eyes, Syana lifts her hand to cup that tight line, her fingertips circling his temple.
    “She was my best friend, Jax, but…she wouldn’t want this.” I hear her swallow hard and get that feeling in my chest again, the one that is almost but not quite pain. She’s right—and wrong. I don’t want Luna to die. But after what she did to Georg, there’s no choice. No matter what drove her to it, she’s gone too far. That’s where Jack and Ajax are right. This is our world and it demands blood.
    The bruin’s face softens. One big hand covers her thigh and squeezes gently. “It’s not up to her. Or you. It’s up to Stephen.”
    “I’ve put him in an impossible situation.” She sounds forlorn, straightening Ajax’s shirt unconsciously with one hand. Patting and smoothing, over and over again. He puts his hand over hers, his big paw completely hiding hers from sight.
    “No. I’ve put him in an impossible situation. You were my choice.”
    She meets his eyes, hers glistening. “I never should have fallen for your stupid ass.”
    He smiles. “Please. You couldn’t help falling for my gorgeous ass. But you think I wanted to find out my mate was a mean-ass stubborn werewolf-to-be with commitment issues? You can’t choose who you fall for, honey.”
    I’m with you there, Ajax . I want to have hope for Sy and the bruin, but considering how Jack and I turned out…
    Hope is a deceitful cocktease and I don’t trust that bitch.
    “That’s the truth. Look at poor Georg.”
    I lean my head against the leather of the seat, wishing I could feel its slick coolness, wishing something could soothe this growing emptiness inside me.
    Ajax’s teeth grind together. I can feel the frustration pulsing from him. Lifting my head, I watch as he sniffs Sy’s neck and closes his eyes. Pain flashes across his face. “There are some things you can’t fight, sweetheart.”
    “You want to fight?” She punches his arm out of the blue. “Let’s fight.” She punches him again. To my surprise, he laughs as he catches her fist in his fingers. Maybe this is how you handle a broody bruin?
    Shifting in his lap, she leans up and catches Ajax’s earring in her teeth. He shudders visibly and yanks her closer, his hand moving higher on her thigh. She yanks it higher yet and rubs against his palm.
    Well, that there’s definitely how you handle a broody man .              
    Less than a minute later, Sy is fully straddling him, the windows are starting to fog up, and I exit tout de suite.
    I miss sex something awful but not enough to play voyeur to my best friend.
    I’m not sure how much longer I can watch all this and hold onto my own fragmenting mind. I’m beginning to think that’s eventually what happens to most spirits. They slowly lose themselves to the memories and fade away or go completely batshit crazy and become poltergeists or whatever because it’s too painful. I gotta say, the first idea is really tempting at the moment. To just give up and let the living and all their problems go and sink into the past.
    I tried that once, though. And I found out that sacrifice may take you out of the equation, but it doesn’t always change the final outcome. I’m definitely sticking around for Jack’s ‘trial.’
    I leave Sy and Ajax to it and find my own way back over the bridge to Minnesota and up the hill to home, floating on the wind. Not unlike Jack, though I’m a whole lot slower at it.
    With dread, I eye the familiar red stone exterior with all its angles and curves and the one imposing turret. I’ve avoided visiting my house like the plague. If my office at T&T is a minefield of memories, the only home I have ever known is a fucking death trap.
    I float through my second-story bedroom window anyway, ignoring Mrs. Rudd, who is frantically scrubbing the air below me with a broom, looking up at the sky and calling out something I can’t quite hear.