Free Coveted by Mychea

to show you some things.”
    I do as she tells me and have a seat on the bed next to her. She selects a key and tells me to open the trunk. I open the trunk and see a lot of old photos and documents.
    “What’s all this stuff?” I ask.
    “It’s information about your father and his family.”
    I stop and drop the keys.
    “What?” I whisper.
    “Your father, you did have one of those you know.”
    “Why would you be giving me information about my father? As far as I am concerned, I do not have one. Someone that leaves a pregnant woman behind loses the privilege of being called a father.”
    “Emeri, I know you’re upset but I really want you to get to know him and to understand what happened between us all those years ago.”
    “Mama what is there to know? He left. He knew you were pregnant and he left anyway. He never reached out to give you support. He had to know that you were struggling and that your family disowned you.”
    She looks off to the far right and takes some time to answer. When she finally turns to me, I notice that her eyes are glistening with tears that I know she will never shed for a life that she never got the chance to live.
    “Actually, he didn’t know. I never told him that my family disowned me or that I was financially unstable. I told him that I miscarried.”
    “Mama why? Why did you try and do it alone?”
    She looked away from me and I can see the tears threatening to spill.
    “Because he was married and I didn’t want to ruin his family. I was ashamed of myself and of what we did. We never should have happened, but he needed me at the time. I do not know if you can understand that or not, but it felt good to be needed.”
    I look at my mom and try to envision what it must have been like for her at 18 years of age with a sense of wanting to be needed and to belong to someone.
    “I think you’re old enough now to know what really happened between your father and me, and why I want you to reconsider getting to know him and his family.”
    I look at her and wonder do I really want to hear her story. Deep down I know I probably won’t seek out my father, but to appease her, I listen.
    “ It was 1983 in New York City. I met your dad when I was 18, my 18 th birthday as a matter of fact. A couple of us went out to celebrate at a restaurant and there was this guy. He was nice, dark and handsome. I was immediately captured by his presence so I went over to say hello, and from there my life is forever changed.
    “ I walked over to the handsome guy sitting at the table alone with his beer. ‘Either you’re having a bad day or you just haven’t had the pleasure of meeting me yet.’ He glanced up at me, and by the look in his eyes, I could tell that he was barely hanging on by a thread. I sat next to him and looked him right in his eyes and said ’Whatever it is can’t be as bad as all that.’
    “ He responded ’I look that bad huh?’ I told him ’Well actually for a guy that looks like he just lost his best friend, you look kind of good to me. Just a little down is all.’ I held out my hand for him to shake. I smiled and told him my name and that it was my birthday.
    “He returns my handshake and gave a slight smile. He told me his name was Kenneth and that it was a pleasure to meet me. ’How is your birthday going so far?’ he asked me. ‘Up until this moment it’s been rather dull. But now that I’ve met you I can say that it is definitely looking up,’ I told him.
    “’Blanca was it?’ he inquired as he took yet another swig of beer. ‘I’m happy for you but I’m really not in the mood for company at the moment.
    “I said to him, ‘Well Kenneth, I can tell that you need some fun. Something is obviously bothering you and how can you say no to the birthday girl? Come on I’ll let you buy me a drink since I’m too young. And who knows? After I finish showing you a good time, just maybe you won’t remember what was bothering you in the first place.’
    “At