Free Loving Lena by S. J. Nelson Page A

crazy family or me. I pray that will change, that we can start our family as we planned. I beg your forgiveness. I wanted to let you know; I do love you and will always love you.
    Your Husband
    Elijah Pace
    The words washed over her. She closed her eyes. The pain and embarrassment wasn’t as strong. It had been six months since she’d walked in on him screwing Anthony, the Music Minister from the church. Ironically, the three of them had been close friends, although Elijah and Anthony were obviously closer. She’d been playing the Good Samaritan that day and took soup to Anthony, who’d been absent from church because of a bad cold. Or so he’d claimed. They had keys to each other’s places, so it was nothing for her to walk in with a warm batch of homemade chicken pasta soup and cold medicine. Strange sounds from the back caught her attention. Thinking he was having some type of attack, she rushed to his room. The door stood open and she got an eyeful of her husband pounding the smaller man in the rear. If the sounds and facial expressions were any indication, both men seemed to be in heaven.
    She’d never seen that look on Elijah’s face when he was with her. That thought brought others, until she shook with the pain of betrayal and rage. They’d had a showdown after the men emerged from the room. After a well-deserved slap across his face, she left him with his lover. Since she’d cut off all communication with him, he’d taken to writing her. Even Anthony had written to her. She pulled out his letter.
    Lena,
    I know you don't want to hear from me, not after catching us, well you know. But before you throw this letter in the trash, I'm begging you on behalf of the long friendship we had to let me say these few words. Elijah loves you. Well, as much as he can love anybody. He's falling apart because of the divorce and the lawsuit. He misses you and is barely functioning. Now, I got that in, and if you're still reading I need to tell you, I'm sorry.
    You've been the closest person to a sister I've ever had. When you and Elijah met five years ago, I applauded his choice and stood up for him as best man. I believed then and still believe he'd chosen the best woman in the world for him. Please believe me when I say Elijah and I were not involved all those years. As you know, I was screwing a few of the women in the choir and the congregation. If someone, anyone, had told me I was interested in men, I would've laughed. I'm not interested in men. I don't believe I'm gay.
    I would be lying if I said I didn't love Elijah. I do. Probably have for years. It wasn't sexual until about six weeks before you caught us. The guilt ate at me until I couldn't look at you; I was so ashamed of my actions. I stayed away from church, saying I was sick. Besides, it wasn't just you we cheated on, but the big guy upstairs as well. It's such a double standard, I know. I've never felt any guilt for banging the women in the church, but after messing around with my best friend a couple of times, I looked for lightning bolts.
    I know this isn't funny to you, but you know me, I hide my nervousness with offbeat humor. If you're still reading, I really appreciate it. I promised myself I'd be honest with you, but it's damn hard. I hurt you. Elijah hurt you. The one person in the world neither of us wanted caught in the crossfire. I beg your forgiveness, I hate I lost my best friend because of my lack of control. Maybe one day you'll talk to me again, and I can apologize by voice.
    Anthony
    They'd been good friends, or so she thought. Would a friend treat another friend the way he'd treated her? God, she hoped not. Could she ever forgive him? Thinking about it gave her a pounding headache. Moving on meant leaving the stain of her marriage behind. In theory, it sounded good; she hoped a change of venue would help.
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    The warmth of Wyoming’s noon sun added it's validation on the outing Lena and Faye embarked upon. After weeks of bullying to get