Free Dark Mountains by Amanda Meredith

something in Cole’s chart. “I think that’s enough for today though. He’s made tremendous progress though, Libby. We’ll keep him off the anesthesia but mildly sedated so if the pseudo-seizures start up again, he won’t hurt himself.” Libby nodded as she stroked Cole’s hand.
    “What Cole just did for you was a big task, Libby. Now he needs to rest. We’ll try some more tomorrow, okay?” Libby nodded again and the doctor left the room. Nurses were in and out the rest of the evening but Libby stayed vigilant by Cole’s side, waiting for him to move again.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    It was dark again but I noticed right away that I wasn’t having a nightmare. I could hear a sort of whooshing sound near my ear, steady with the rise and fall of my chest. A quieter beeping sound from a bit further away matched the rhythm of my heart.
    My mouth was dry, parched like the desert and I tried to swallow but something was in the way of my mouth. I tried to open my eyes but they were heavy, giant sandbags, keeping my world dark.
    I felt pain, so much that I felt like I was being burnt alive and hit by a truck at the same time. My back, which I could tell I was laying on, felt as if it had been whipped. My head was also pounding but no longer foggy.
    I tried to open my eyes again. A small gray slit appeared and the thrill of victory gave me more motivation. I blinked and the slit became wider, letting in more light. A few more blinks and they were all the way open. Everything was blurry, as if I was trying to see underwater. I blinked furiously, trying to clear my vision. It felt like I hadn’t opened my eyes in a long time.
    My vision was getting better and the more I blinked the clearer it became. There was a light on the ceiling, set to low. For this, I was thankful; my eyes probably couldn’t take any bright lights right now. I tried to turn my head to get my bearings but something pulled at my face and the more I moved the more it hurt so I lay still. Instead, I looked with my eyes, as far as I could.
    I could see the annoying beeping machine I’d heard next to the bed beside me. I knew it was a heart rate monitor as I watched the lines jumping up and down with the beeping… a little faster now than it had been a moment ago. The machine I’d heard the whooshing sound from was a ventilator, I’d seen plenty of those in the last few years. I followed the tubes with my eyes as far as I could. I tried to swallow again and felt that my mouth and throat were blocked.
    I could hear the heart rate monitor beeping faster as I realized what was going on. The heart rate monitor was mine. The ventilator was keeping me breathing.  I subconsciously tried to swallow again, and knowing I had a ventilator tube all the way down my throat sent panic through me. Normally I would be steadying my breathing but the respirator was doing that for me.
    I understood that somehow I was in the hospital. That something had happened to me, serious enough for me to need help breathing. My heart raced on, sending off a minor alarm on the machine. I tried to force my heartbeat to slow, like I’d been trained to, but I needed something to concentrate on.
    My eyes wheeled around the room, searching for something to focus on when they landed on a picture on the table next to the bed. It was a photo of Libby and me holding blue bells. The very picture I’d given her before I left for Iraq. My fingers twitched, my subconscious wanting to reach out for the picture. Something twitched back.
    I let my eyes trail down slowly, the soldier in me prepared for some kind of ambush. Chestnut hair pooled on the sheet next to my arm. A delicate hand with chipped pink fingernails lay over my hand. Libby’s face, lying on the bed near my arm.
    My hand twitched again, aching to touch her. Libby moaned a little, the sound making my heart jump. She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. She glanced at the clock behind her before yawning. I moved my hand again and she