Free Sexual Politics by Tara Mills

“You used to pull your nightgowns over your head and undress in your little tent just so no one would see you.”
    Smiling again, Justine wriggled her shoulders under the water. “I’ve come a long way, baby.”
    “I’ll say. Which is why you’re hiding out from the paparazzi and every sleazy tabloid reporter in this city.”
    “There is that.” She voiced a question she’d pondered for some time. “Do you think Gary cheated because he prefers sexually assertive women?”
    “I don’t know. Maybe. Why?”
    “I’ve thought about it, a lot. When we were a couple, I never turned him away, but I didn’t initiate either. What if I was too passive? Am I partly responsible for his infidelities?” Justine sank down deeper in the tub, frowning at the thought.
    Jeannie huffed in exasperation. “Don’t do this to yourself. You were the perfect wife. He was lucky to have you.”
    “I was the right kind of wife. Not for him, but for the public. For appearances. I think he would have chosen differently if he could have.”
    “What are you saying?” Jeannie asked.
    “I’m saying we were incompatible. That Gary wounded my pride not my heart. I’m completely different with Sean. You have no idea how hard it is for me to hold back with him. I want to knock him to the floor and ride him. Sometimes I want to touch him so badly my fingernails cut into my palms from fighting the urge. I’ve never wanted someone like this before. I think about him all the time.”
    “Wow.”
    Justine nodded, just as amazed as her sister appeared to be. “I know.”
    Slapping the tops of her thighs, Jeannie stood up. “Well, I’ll let you finish your bath in peace. I’ll be downstairs making lunch.”
    “I’ll be down. I can’t put all this off indefinitely. Time to take my medicine.”
    “That’s the spirit.”
    As soon as Jeannie pulled the door closed behind her, Justine picked up the washcloth and continued to bathe, her mind returning to what she’d pondered aloud. What she hadn’t said was how different she was with these two men.
    When she was introduced to Gary, he was already a political favorite, a standout from the usual crop of candidates. Handsome, young, energetic, and passionate, he won people over with ease. She was flattered by his attention and openly envied by others when he pursued her. Thinking back, she finally understood she was drawn more to the promise of the man not the man himself. He chose her, presented a ring, and she accepted. That’s the way things worked. She followed the script, much like he followed one when he sought his ideal wife. Knowing his tastes better now, she almost felt sorry he didn’t feel he could choose someone more appropriate for him.
    What about her? Too bad she couldn’t blame political aspirations for her decisions. It never occurred to her she had choices too, or more accurately that she’d bowed out of actively making any. He liked her, so she liked him back. He wanted her, so she accepted his attentions. There was an imbalance going on. Not once did she ask herself what she wanted, what kind of mate would suit her best. A larger-than-life man favored her and she stopped looking, stopped asking, and stopped questioning out of gratitude.
    They were both at fault for the demise of the marriage, but it was a marriage that never should have taken place. Talk about a rude awakening! Too bad she wasn’t thinking clearly before she walked down the aisle. To choose, rather than be chosen made all the difference in the world.
    Her mind slipped back in time to Sean’s exhibit in Berlin. What would have happened if they’d met there? Would they feel the same powerful energy and sizzling attraction? If they’d hooked up then would they still be together? Or did they both need a failed marriage under their belts before they learned what they really wanted, what they needed in a companion? Was it their independent life experiences and maturity that made their connection feel so