Free Here's the Situation by Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

opportunity to introduce myself to her. In a one-on-one moment with her friend I said, “Listen, I think your friend is gorgeous.”
    She said, “No way, my friend just said the exact same thing about you.”
    And it was on. An instantaneous connection was made and our relationship flourished from that moment forward. We dated for two years.

The Levels of Chick
    In my years of playing the game I’ve come to this conclusion: There are different levels of chick. It’s like an inverted pyramid with the wide part at the top—this is your mix of grenades, land mines, and other low-hanging fruit—tapering into the narrowest classification of female that exists: Girlfriend Material, or perhaps even, “The One.” Once you get beyond the riff-raff at the club (i.e., grenade launchers, zoo creatures, hypnotic hyenas, trash bags, etc.), girls break down into five categories, from sleeper to keeper. Here is my field guide for the classifications of chick that every creeper should know:
Fifth Class
    Oftentimes, a guy might look at a chick and think, “She’s hot but not girlfriend hot.” Sometimes the reality is that a guy will see a girl and have a primal, caveman reaction to her body. He definitely wants to pound her out but doesn’t foresee the relationship progressing any further. For a creeper viewing a chick in this way, it is a purely physical attraction with little to no emotional attachment. This caveman principle operates both ways, of course. Once again, science informs us. A recent peer-reviewed report published by the Creeper Institute of Situationomics states definitively that a woman will choose a man who’s physically fit and sexually desirable. A man who exudes confidence and strength to a potential mate over his pastier, doughier, and less Italian-American rival, resulting in the eventual disappearance of that rival’s inferior DNA from the gene pool.
Fourth Class
    At this level, a guy is attracted to a girl physically, and freely bangs her, but he can’t determine if she’s cute enough to take her around with him to places where she’ll be seen—especially by his bros. As a result, the guy finds himself constantly watching movies on her couch. This strategy soon becomes conspicuous. Before long the girl will ask herself, “Why is this guy not taking me out to dinner? Why is he always making excuses for why we don’t go out together? How many more times can we watch Sopranos episodes on HBO On Demand?” Truth is, the guy is making excuses to her because he already made up his mind at the jump what classification she falls into: Guidette, Fourth Class.
Third Class
    A good-looking girl who’s on the wrong side of gorgeous. Not a love-at-first-sight-type girl, but still, someone you’re vibing with instantly and want to take out on a real date. Nothing crazy, just a basic date to see what happens. What the guy has decided at the outset is that he doesn’t mind being seen with her in public, so he starts simple by taking her to a movie. That’s a safe first excursion into the world together because she’s only briefly viewed in public (moving swiftly from the vehicle to the door). Then for the rest of the date you’re safely hidden inside a dark theater.
Second Class
    Then there is the drop-dead gorgeous girl that you definitely want to be seen out with. This is a girl you’re going to invite to dinner, giving her the benefit of your full GTL and GTL Remix rituals. This is a girl who makes you want to look and feel your freshest and be on your best behavior. You put real effort into courting this girl because you’re willing to see where the relationship leads.

    Too many chicks mistakenly assume that just because a guy asks them out on a date, she has firmly secured her positioning at the Date Level (Third Class or above). Not necessarily so. To determine her true classification, she must evaluate the