Free Haunted by Stephanie Brother

want you to know, this isn’t your fault, Brian,” he said.
    Well, no shit, I thought to myself.
    “You probably think I am just a mean, wicked drunk, who uses his fists to solve his problems,” he said.
    I nodded.
    “I just want you to know, that I am sorry that I hurt you, and your mom and stepsister. I am not making any excuses for the messes I’ve made. But, I want you to know that none of you are to blame,” he said.
    He stared at the wall, and then sighed.
    “It’s the war, son. I was in combat, and I saw things that I can’t forget. I have nightmares, unless I drink, and even then I still wake up in a cold sweat, nine times out of ten,” he said.
    “I don’t expect you to understand all this. I’m sorry about the way I treated you and them,” he said.
    “Why don’t you go to a doctor about it?” I asked.
    “Hell, kid. Most people want to forget there even was a war, and the one’s that remember call us baby killers and spit on us. And, if I’m honest, we did some terrible things. I can’t feel right about any of it. It’s a shit excuse to give you, but there it is. I don’t blame you for hating me. If I were you, I’d …”
    He drifted off. He looked around again, and then put his head in his hands and wept quietly.
    “I don’t want to see you ever again, and if you come near Mom and Kim, I’ll kill you,” I said.
    He nodded, and kept his face buried in his hands.
    I got up and walked out of the room.
    And then, to my great surprise, I lied to the police.
    I told them I had fallen down off my bicycle and cracked my ribs on a curb.
    I told them I had a black eye from not paying attention and hitting my head on a door.
    I lied and felt ashamed and sad and angry, but I lied just the same.
    And in the end, the old man walked. He just walked away from all of it. Since he didn’t actually hit the officer, they really couldn’t hold him for that either. In fact, the man swore that my father had just tripped and accidentally swung at him. I guess they just didn’t feel like doing any more paperwork.
    What was the point? I was their leverage, and I had just chickened out, in their minds.
    Some of the cops started swearing at me, and threatened to arrest me for obstruction of justice.
    I just sat there, and waited it out.
    Eventually, they got tired of the game, and threw the two of us out into the street.
    “Kid,” said the one cop who had taken me aside, “I don’t know if you’re stupid or have more guts than anyone I’ve ever seen. You stay out of trouble, and make sure to give that fucker a wide berth.”
    “It’s okay, sir,” I said. “He won’t be hurting anyone anymore.”
    The cop looked at me and slowly nodded.
    He saw my father slowly walking away, towards the corner bar.
    “You take care, Mr. Cox,” he said.
    I had never been called “Mister” before.
    It made me feel like an adult for the first time in my life.
    *****
    Over the next few weeks, I stayed with a few friends, couch surfing.
    I didn’t dare go back to see Kim, because I was afraid I would tell her I couldn’t testify against my own father. I felt responsible for what had happened, then. I didn’t think she would understand what I did. I am not sure I understood it myself, at the time.
    *****
    One day I had driven past my home, and Kim and Mom were gone.
    I stood there, looking at the house where I had grown up.
    I felt lonely and afraid.
    But also, I knew my life was really my own.
    My friend’s parents made a few calls, and found out that Kim and her mother had moved to another state. I wondered why my stepmom didn’t put a lot of effort into trying to find me for a while. But, I guess she was through with my dad, and didn’t want me hanging about to remind her of what a mistake she had made.
    I can’t say I blame her.
    But, I always missed Kim, from that day on.
    I decided I needed to find my own way, and that’s what I did.

Epilogue
    BRIAN
    Today, I can say that it all turned out for the best. I