Free John the Posthumous by Jason Schwartz Page B

squares or present handsome gashes.
    Silver should be placed one inch from the edge of the table—the knives, turned in, sitting below the glass, which will topple, or perhaps crack in your hand.
    The plate should be white and without ornament. Address the left side first, except when crooknecks or parsnips are in evidence. Remember that the meat can sometimes bleed too amply.
    The napkin will fall by the end of the meal.
    To remove objects correctly, begin with your wife’s position. If this is empty, begin with the child’s. If the child’s position is empty, carry the carving knife to the sideboard.
    Gather the scraps in butcher paper or a tall jar.
    I II.
    D isposition of the remains, in an upper room, as nighttime arrives—this accounts for the houndstooth pattern. A flannel housecoat (pointed yoke, open neck) and a gentleman’s possessions (we have few, alas) do seem pleasant facts, certainly, save for the question of the insects. Bluebottles are more likely than houseflies, especially about the mouth, while beetles (carrion, for instance, and bark) are often seen beneath the sleeves.
    Removal from the room, in the morning, assuming two bronze clocks, a lampshade, and a rope—but let us neglect the plan of the staircase, please.
    T he dissection tables display bell chains, dowels, twine. The rat-tail hinges are a bit too stout. Names are written out on the near side—brown letters for orphans, blue for Jews.
    The clouts rust well, or stand at a charming slant.
    The implements, brass and otherwise, are missing from some depictions.
    In Germantown, a wooden arm falls afoul of the rail. In Red Bank, organs are replaced with artifacts—and, on occasion, rocks. In Pike Fork, widows are painted gray.
    Measurement of the dead, like measurement of a bride, occurs as per local practice, and may require a catlin knife.
    The horses and dogs are destroyed behind the morgue.
    T o examine the left atrium, posterior aspect, cut along the septum, ignoring the middle cardiac vein (awfully narrow and black, in this case) and the pulmonary trunk (or the remnant thereof)—and then hold the heart aloft. To examine the right atrium, cut out the lateral wall, disclosing the eustachian valve—though this is often absent in the adult heart. The arteries are best observed from above, except in the event of certain defects, such as those known to afflict widowers in cities. A cross section will show four holes (rather resembling a face, I am afraid) and two appendages, dark at the far end.
    To examine the ventricles, in a frontal section, use fingers or shears. Discard in parts.
    T he embalming tables are adorned with gilt figures. Some later examples are famous for their claw-and-ball feet. What a pity, however, about the torn ribbon.
    A porcelain basin sits beside a porcelain chamberpot. The cabinets favor eyebolts, strap hinges, white paint.
    The jars of arsenic account for the cats.
    If drams replace barn-gallons, and nails replace hands—doubtless this will ruin the view of the wounds. The first, at the throat, suits the room. The second, at the jaw, is perhaps too extravagantly red.
    Superstition dictates that the head face west, and that the frame and grates form a cross. The slats are covered with matting—burlap, presumably, or stammel.
    The mold grows best at night.
    T o prepare the remains, use equal parts turpentine (or ammonia, in summer) and mutton tallow (or rottenstone, if need be)—though scalding water will also suffice. Soak the brush in a tin pail. Males require straight-razors with dull blades and pearl handles—except, of course, in cases of decollation. To shut the eyes, use birdlime and wax. Suture the mouth with a length of wire.
    The incision at the neck, just above the collarbone, on the right side—this should measure one inch across, keeping in mind the condition of the flesh and the size of the child. Locate the carotid artery. Introduce the solution, which should include, in addition to the usual