Free Amphibian by Carla Gunn

Mom laughs and laughs. I get worried when her head is back and her face is in a big laugh but no sound is coming out of her mouth, not even the sound of a breath, so I poke her in the stomach and make her breathe in loudly and still she laughs. When my father lived with us, he would dance too. Sometimes he would even put me up on his shoulders and bounce me around. That used to worry my mom and she’d yell, ‘Will, put him down! You’re going to shake his head off his shoulders!’
    This evening, though, I didn’t really want to listen to the music or dance because there was a show coming on the Green Channel that I wanted to watch. It was all about tigers. Tigers and joyful music just don’t go well together because in India there are fewer than 1,500 tigers left and the scientists and conservationists who are telling the truth about how the tigers are being killed arebeing threatened by the people who want to make factories and mines. That’s not the least bit funny.
    There are thirty-six animals in the family
Felidae
and twenty-three of them are near threatened, vulnerable, endangered or critically endangered. The Iberian lynx is the closest to extinction and if it’s completely killed off it will be the very first wildcat species to go extinct in 2,000 years.
    I saw Dr. Barrett again. He told me he wanted to show me a new exercise to make me feel calmer and I said okay.
    Dr. Barrett said, ‘Okay, sit back, close your eyes and take deep breaths.’
    I breathed in, and then I breathed out.
    â€˜Do any of your muscles feel tense, Phin?’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜Which ones?’
    â€˜My hands and arms and legs and shoulders and neck and chest mostly.’
    â€˜Okay, let’s start with your hands and arms. Just open your hands and let your arms hang loosely like you would if you were to lie down in your bed.’
    I spread out my fingers and let my arms flop against the arms of his chair.
    â€˜That is very good, Phin. Just relax. Relax,’ said Dr. Barrett in a slow, quiet voice that made me think of practicing a lockdown at school.
    After a few seconds he said, ‘Now, do you have a favourite place – a place that makes you feel calm and relaxed and happy? It can be a real place you’ve been before or it can be one you imagine. Do you have such a place, Phin?’
    â€˜Yes, Pete’s Pond.’
    â€˜Great. Wonderful. Now go to Pete’s Pond in your imagination. Let me know when you’re thinking of this favourite place by raising a finger on your right hand.’
    I raised my finger after a few seconds. I thought about how I saw a honey badger on the Pete’s Pond webcam a few days ago. Although it’s a small animal about the size of a skunk, a honey badger is listed as the fiercest animal in the world in one of the books of records.
    Dr. Barrett said, ‘This is a calm, safe place where all your worries disappear. Look around at this place and look at all the sights … How does it feel to be here?’
    I said, ‘It makes me feel happy.’ In fact, the day I saw the honey badger was really exciting because they’re hardly ever seen in the wild. They’re vulnerable on the Red List of Threatened Species.
    â€˜That’s good. You are safe and feel very peaceful and calm. Notice what you hear or don’t hear in your special place. Look all around,’ said Dr. Barrett very slowly. Then, after he paused for a minute, he said, ‘Notice what you smell … Now, notice what you feel. Say to yourself, “I am relaxed. All of my worries are gone. I am very calm and peaceful.”’
    I said those words to myself and they did actually make me feel calmer. Dr. Barrett said that I should go to this place inside my mind whenever I want. He told me to repeat, ‘I am very calm and relaxed here … This is my favourite place to be,’ to myself. He asked me if I thought this would help with my