Free Tainted by A. E. Rought

obvious fear. A freeze-frame image of her burns into my mind, the dashboard lights glowing sickly and pale on her terrified face. Please don’t let this happen, my heart can’t take it.
    I slam on the Acura’s brakes, and bury the nose in the snow bank feet from where her car tore through the dune grass. Jason’s screams of “Oh my God!” fill my car, but they’re nothing compared to the slamming of my heart, the pain consuming my chest.
    Em’s eyes catch mine, she wails for help and jerks on the door. Her mouth forms my name, and I feel the word clawing my heart. I can’t get out of the car fast enough, as though I’m trapped in a slow-motion scene while everything in me screams to hurry. Outside, the wind keens through the brittle beach grass. Snow pelts my face.
    Panicking, Em pounds on the window with her cast. The motion shakes the vehicle loose. My heart clenches.
    “No!” I shout.
    A glassy crash shatters the night when the nose of the car smashes through the skim of ice over the river. This time, when Em screams, my ears hear it as well as my heart. The hood submerges in an instant. Emma’s frantic, pounding the window, sobbing as the vehicle bobs on the water’s black surface.
    My hopes flounder and sink as water splashes inside the cab. She’s going to drown, and I’m to blame. The car door opens behind me. Jason’s shouting, but I’m beyond listening. I can’t lose Emma. Cold air hits my skin, rushing in to replace my shucked leather jacket.
    “Emma!” I shout, pausing at the river’s edge to rip off my shoes.
    “What are you doing?” Panic makes Jason’s voice edgy in the blizzard night. “Are you crazy?”
    Yes, I am. For Emma. I would throw away this false life to keep her alive.
    Em tips her face up to avoid the rising water. Tears shine in her eyes, the last thing I see before the water muffles her cries and the roof sinks below the surface.
    I don’t think.
    Tearing off my shirt, I leap from the bank. Air rushes along my skin before I collide with the frigid water. The river devours me. The cold burns, cutting into me like blades of ice. My jaws lock on a scream – I can’t afford the air. Emma’s everything to me and the tail lights are disappearing below.
    Every stroke, every kick brings more pain, renews the water’s icy edge. Instinct rails at me to swim for the surface, to escape the hurt and save myself.
    I won’t. There might still be time to save her.
    Emma can’t die because of me.
    I’m not worthy of her life.
    Thought flees and I am nothing more than agony and determination. The car comes into view, sliding down the river’s gullet. I paw at the crumpled trunk with numb hands, searching for a hold. My hand catches on a jagged edge and a fresh hell rips across my palm. Blood laces into the water as I work my way down the car’s body to the dented driver’s door.
    The dashboard lights flicker over the limp form strapped to the driver’s seat. She’s motionless, not clawing for freedom. Emma’s face tips my way in time for me to witness the fight and fire leave her eyes. I’ve lost her. Heartache explodes in my chest. Denial floods me in a hot rush. I scream then, raging against my failure and guilt, breath escaping in a bubbling cloud as I slam my fists against the window. The glass holds between me and Emma.
    Lungs burning for air, guilt and panic sickening me, I work my multi-tool knife from my pocket and use the pointed end to ram the glass. It spiderwebs, then another punch breaks it.
    I yearn to gather Em in my arms, but she’s still belted to her seat, arms floating, eyes fixed and mouth open. A single bubble escapes her nose.
    This can’t be. This can’t be. This can’t be.
    I’m not sure if my lungs or heart hurt worse. Everything in me that is Daniel seems numb, in shock. I’m not yet. I fumble with my knife and nearly drop it before I can get the seatbelt cutter aligned with Emma’s restraint. With a wrench of my arm, I cut her free.
    Then I