Free OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! by Rae Earl

wasn’t anything special. Without all my lad friends egging me on I realized I had no friends and I’d messed up the real stuff. And Tasmania just made me realize the Earth matters. Beautiful mountains and streams and things hopping around in your garden. Look, please just spend tomorrow with me and let’s try to have a good time upcycling some of your gran’s stuff.
ME:
What, you think that blouse has got potential?
KEITH:
It’s perfect for upcycling, I’d say. Shall we try it tomorrow? What do you reckon?
ME:
I reckon customizing an old bit of clothing is bound to solve everything.
    This made Keith laugh and he said, “Hattie – I don’t think it will – BUT I like being with you. You’re smart and funny and a little bit sarcastic.”
    He didn’t add, “Not like MGK.” BUT he’s too kind to do that.

S UNDAY 17 TH J ANUARY
5.38 p.m.
    It’s retro craptacular!

    Upcycling was a TOTAL LOL! NO ONE can rock crochet FRAYED brown waistcoats OR an over-the-knee skirt with a slit up the front that Keith made (badly – it just looks like a 4-centimetre rip!). You also cannot rock a grubby white handbag with a rainbow and stars doodled on it IN BIRO. The rainbow was in just 3 colours – black, blue and red. Keith said, “It’s the message that counts.” I told him that I would ring
Vogue
and report him! We ended up peeing ourselves.
    Gran caught us giggling at her awful wardrobe and called me a traitor.
6.12 p.m.
    Keith and me bonded over Gran being mental. I feel a bit guilty but also a bit relieved.
6.46 p.m.
    I’ve just realized everyone in Australia must look dreadful.
7.13 p.m.
    They don’t wear a lot of clothes though because it’s so hot. You can’t really mess up a bikini!

M ONDAY 18 TH J ANUARY
4.55 p.m.
    Like I haven’t got enough to deal with, EVIL teacher-torturer Matfield has decided we are doing a 3D ceramics project in Art. We have to make an animal that we love or have loved. Florence Morse – ultimate rebel – said she went on a seaside holiday once and fell in love with a group of plankton. She just rolled her clay into loads of little dots. Matfield went mad at her for “disrespecting artistic materials”, so Florence went mad at her for “disrespecting a deeply held and fond childhood memory”. Then Matfield asked her what her animal was called. When Florence answered, “Plankton the plankton” Matfield went mad!
    What can I do? I could make Hammy the hamster but his face would be too hard. It’s the same with Sergeant Nibbles the guinea pig. Rodents have difficult faces to model!
    Trust Mum to give me pets that are artistically challenging.
6.02 p.m.
    I definitely can’t do Princess. She doesn’t stay still long enough for you to even see what she looks like. Perhaps if I buy her some nice food I can do a sketch.
6.48 p.m.
    Gran says Princess likes M&S chicken slices. I can’t stretch to that – she will have to have Lidl slices.
6.52 p.m.
    Jen just texted. She says this is my karma for calling Freak “Freak”.
    I’m going to have to try to make Princess.
    Wish I was spending more time with Freak. AND his owner.

T UESDAY 19 TH J ANUARY
7.28 a.m.
    Just woke up feeling sick about clay.
6.49 p.m.
    Went round to see Princess – she just ran off. Gran says she can sniff out low-price food. She won’t touch anything cheap. She can recognize the label. Keith, though, managed to do me a quick sketch of her. KEITH IS MY HERO (for the minute).

    Gran usually goes to zumba on a Tuesday but she’s decided that it’s actually just quick line dancing. That is at least the 202nd health fad she has given up. Princess uses her yoga mat to sleep on!
7.24 p.m.
    Just remembered! Princess also buried Gran’s juicer in the back garden! She hasn’t missed it. She told us she cured her joint pain with a daily breakfast mix of carrot juice and