Free Shadow of the Wolf by Anastacia Kelley Page B

tried not to let his final words sadden her.  She loved him and he felt the same.  But he let this curse dictate his life.  He didn’t want children to pass this gene to.  She understood that.  She wanted kids eventually.  So, where did that leave them?
         “You want to be the last Van Holden, don’t you?”
         Trevor ran his hand through his hair.  “It’s not that I don’ t want to settle down and have kids.  I don’t think it’s fair to put them through what I have to go through.  If I had a boy, he would be cursed.  Since the sex of the baby turns to me, I would only blame myself for not having a girl.  They are untouched by the gene but not from the turmoil it causes.  Besides, if I have only eight more years left to me, how would my kids feel to lose their daddy so young?  I can’t do that.  I’m not strong enough to do what my father did.”
         Serenitee forced him to look at her.  “You’re stronger than you think.  Your father made the ultimate decision in having a family.  He knew there was a 50/50 chance of having a boy but he did it anyway.  He did it because he wanted a family and some kind of normalcy in his life.  Don’t you want that, too, Trevor?”
         Trevor sighed.  “Just because I want it doesn’t mean I’ll get it.  I don’t have much time left and I don’t want to spend it having a wife and kids when I know I won’t be there for them.”
         “So you want these eight years to live in solitude?”  She wanted him to say no.  She wanted him to change his mind. 
         “What choice do I have?”
         She had her answer.  She wanted to shake some sense into him.  She couldn’t spend her time pining away for him either.  If they broke it off now, it would make it easier.  Yes, she loved him but her heart would heal faster if she moved on.  No use in dragging it out.
         “I see,” she said quietly.  “Then maybe saying good-bye now will be the best thing for me.”  She kissed him on the cheek, trying to hold back tears.  “Good-bye, Trevor.”  She was surprised she managed to say the words without breaking down.
         Trevor’s heart shattered into a million pieces.  It was either now or later.  So, he lost her any way he looked at it. 
         “Good-bye, Serenitee,” he whispered.   He walked out the door and out of her life. 
         So, why didn’t he feel relieved?  He just felt like the jerk he always thought himself to be.

Chapter Eleven
         Serenitee fell back onto the couch, welcoming the tears now.  Her world had crumbled a little more.  She had lost her parents.  Now, she had lost Trevor.  What did it matter that he had eight more years left?  Why couldn’t they spend them together?  She didn’t really have to have kids.  She just wanted Trevor.  No, she needed him in her life.
         Yeah, he thought what he was doing was noble by letting her go.  To his reasoning, he was saving her.  From what?  Love?  Happiness?  Eight years of bliss?
         She sat up and wiped the tears away.  This was the twenty-first century.  Surely, there were ways around this curse.  There had to be some kind of medication to fix it.  All she had to do was di g even deeper into the werewolf curse.  The computer was a fount of information.  She just had to know where to look.
         She walked over and powered up her computer and made a pot of coffee.  She felt this was going to be a long night.  It would be worth it if she could help Trevor.
         Serenitee found a few promising things.  There was even a doctor who supposedly ‘specialized’ in lycanthropy.  She had to follow link after link to find this Dr. Shaw, a doctor that majored in Paranormal Psychology and Medicine with Lycanthropic Tendencies.  She read every word of his ‘Journals of Lycanthropic Medicine’ and wanted to believe a cure was possible. 
         It’s no wonder he was