Free Power Play: A Novel by Danielle Steel

water.
    “What do you think?” Jillian asked with a wry smile, sounding like a shrink.
    “I don’t know. Maybe a little of both.”
    “Welcome to the human race. I’m not so charming every day either, and I’m not a CEO,” Jillian said as they put their rackets in their cases.
    “I try to be strong but fair at the office, otherwise they’d walk all over me, especially the chairman of the board.” She thought of Harding Williams as she said it. “But I tried to leave the gladiator stuff at the office and be a woman at home when I was married. According to David, I failed abysmally.”
    “Look what he married. Would you want to be her? She’s a nice woman, but her greatest accomplishment is making three-dimensional snowflakes and Easter bunnies from Martha Stewart’s book. Come on, Fiona, you don’t want to be that. You never did.” She would have been disappointed in her sister if she had. Jillian had enormous respect for her. Fiona was capable of so much more than that, which David had never appreciated. Fiona had always wanted more for herself too, much to Jillian’s relief. The two sisters were very different in their lifestyle choices, but they were similar in some ways. Both were high achievers and perfectionists, and harder on themselves than on anyone else, and successful in their fields. And Fiona was powerful as well. Jillian thought it was their way of living up to their parents’ expectations for them, even after they were dead. And Fiona didn’t disagree. They had both been terrific students in school. Fiona was a gentler person. Jillian was tougher and more direct. And Fiona liked the commitment of marriage. Jillian never had.
    Fiona was still thinking about what Jillian had said about David’s wife. “No, I don’t want to be like Jenny. But I’m not so sure I want to be me either. You’ll notice there’s no one in my bed at night, or knocking on my door. So something isn’t working right. Snowflakes and Easter bunnies are a hell of a lot less scary than a woman whoruns a major corporation.” Fiona didn’t look distressed as she said it, and knew it was the truth, and Jillian didn’t disagree.
    “That’s my point. If you were a guy, everyone would want you. As a woman, it’s
much
harder to find a good man. Particularly one who likes you for who you are, and isn’t angry about it.”
    “So what am I supposed to do? Get a sex change to get a date, if I ever want one again?” Fiona was laughing by then. She wasn’t desperate by any means, or even interested, but once in a while she thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to at night, after work, or wake up next to on the weekends. It had been a long time. And at other times, she was convinced that she was happier now alone.
    “No, you’ve got to find a guy with guts, who’s not scared of you, or your job, who’s not jealous of you, and has the brains to look beyond the title on the door.” Jillian was serious about it. She thought Fiona should have a partner, a good one, which was easier said than done.
    “I don’t think that man’s been born,” Fiona responded. “Maybe I’m too old,” she said quietly, and Jillian looked enraged.
    “At forty-nine? That’s ridiculous. You could live another fifty years. Seventy-five-year-olds date and fall in love. One of my patients got married last year at eighty-nine, and he’s still going strong.”
    “They’re retired and not CEOs anymore. I don’t have a hell of a lot of free time. And I have a feeling that as long as I’m working, in this job anyway, no guy is going to come near me. I’m not sure I care, in fact I don’t, but I think it may just be the way things are. And I’m not giving up my job for a date. My dating life hasn’t exactly been stellar since the divorce, which happens to be when I started this job, six years ago.”
    “You haven’t been trying,” Jillian said with a disapproving look again.
    “I don’t have time,” Fiona said honestly.