Free 11 Whiskey Tango Foxtrot by Heather Long Page B

ready for when he came home, ready to take it on and fix it, but nothing got through to him. He only understood sex, food, and when he got upset he would just lash out. He always promised to get help, and sometimes we could go a whole week and then it would start over again.” She sat up, slid her foot back to the floor, and rubbed her face. “God, I sound like some Lifetime movie.”
    “No, you sound like a strong woman determined to stay with the man she loved even when he didn’t treat her well.” Understanding that combat and stress damaged the man didn’t make him want to beat him any less for taking it out on his wife.
    “His unit was reassigned, and he didn’t get a promotion he thought he was due, and when his contract came up for renewal, he signed it and volunteered to go back. The night he told me was the same night I found out I was pregnant. He was shipping out in two days—” She bit her lower lip and dropped her attention to the plate. “And for the first time I was a coward, I didn’t tell him. I made sure the meal was perfect, I didn’t argue or give him lip, I took his insults and I let him—we had sex—and I kissed him goodbye when he left. I was glad that he was deployed because it meant he wouldn’t hit me while I was pregnant. I hoped the baby would be there by the time he came back and….”
    “And everything would be different.” Joe rubbed a finger to the side of his nose. The little act kept him from clenching his hands into fists—fists that would only scare her.
    “Yes. I told him in an email about the baby and he was really excited. He got a chance to Skype me and for a few minutes it was like talking to my Tuck again. He was so full of plans—”
    Joe knew what was coming, he’d gotten the report.
    “And then he died. An IED and we didn’t have a body to bury.” She exhaled and lifted her gaze, staring at him as though she stared into the eyes of a firing squad. “And I was relieved.”
    He sat forward and held his hand out to her, resting it on the table and waited. She looked down at his outstretched fingers and back up with far more trepidation than he thought he could stand before resting her fingers on his. “It’s okay.”
    “But it’s not—he died. The man I was supposed to love, the man I defied my parents for, I gave up all these things for—he died. The father of my baby, a Marine, serving his country and I was relieved. Now I’m here and taking the charity of all these fine men and women because Tuck was a Marine, and I’m a liar and a fraud and a….”
    “A survivor.” Joe held her hand gently. “You’re a survivor, Melody. You didn’t wish him dead, and you sure as hell didn’t kill him. You suffered and you are allowed to feel relief at the end of your suffering.”
    “But he’s dead….”
    “He died doing his job. Right, wrong, or indifferent, he died leading the life he chose to lead. We all know what can happen to us over there, we all know that we may come back in pieces, if it all. You married your high school sweetheart and lived in hell to stay with him. You didn’t leave him, didn’t walk away, didn’t report him or ask for help even when you had every right to it. Do not be upset with yourself for being relieved. Hell, I’m relieved for you.” Because I don’t have to kill the son of a bitch . He could rationalize that getting the man help would have been sufficient, but a man didn’t beat his wife.
    Period .
    “I told you, I’m a mess.”
    “Okay.” Joe brushed his thumb along the side of her hand. Her skin was soft. “Well, as you can so readily see, I’m one-hundred percent tip top perfect.”
    “Well….” Her weepy smile turned up. “You kind of are.”
    Masculine pride bloomed in his chest, but he kept his focus on the prize. “We’re all damaged, sweetheart. Some scars you can’t see. I like you. I can live with messy.”
    “I don’t know if I can.”
    And there was the kick in the gut. He