Free The Magic Fart by Piers Anthony Page B

now two thirds full.
    “Spire!” Oubliette said in mock reproof as she tread thick water. “You overestimated my capacity.”
APOLOGY, the Spire gouted. She laughed. “I made you come, didn’t I! Who was the last woman to
    accomplish that?” EGG’S FAVORITE CONCUBINE, SEVERAL BILLION YEARS AGO. WHAT A
    CREATURE SHE WAS! A LOT LIKE YOU. “I am surely her direct descendant,” Oubliette agreed, not trying to conceal her satisfaction. “But you have ruined my carpet. Now clean it up this instant.”
    THAT’S WHAT THE CONCUBINE SAID. I SHALL HAVE TO WITHDRAW FROM YOUR DELIGHTFUL CHAMBER.
    “Parting is such sweet sorrow,” she agreed. “I would really like to keep you within me forever, you utterly divine implement, but to do that I’d have to retire and marry Prior, and the carpet would stink. I’m not ready for that.”
    “Let it stink,” Prior muttered. But Oubliette was already releasing the Spire; he felt it easing along her channel, inch by inch, as the two of them continued to float connected.
    “Farewell, dear,” Oubliette said as the tip of the Spire finally slid out of her belly. Her labia closed on it in a parting nether kiss.
    FAREWELL, DIVINE MORTAL. The Spire, also, hated to separate; it had not encountered a woman her equal in billions of years.
    “How can you clean this up?” Prior asked it, stifling his unreasonable jealousy. “I thought you gouted only outward.”
    TRUE. I SHALL HAVE TO GOUT A CLEANER. POINT ME AWAY FROM THAT PERFECT WOMAN. The Spire was out, but Prior was still embracing Oubliette, feeling her wonderful breasts against his chest within their mutual bath of thick fluid. “I have to let you go,” he said reluctantly.
    “Of course, Prior,” she agreed. She kissed him again, and it seemed to make his head float better. She truly could have been his ideal woman, had she had the inclination. But he had always known she was well beyond him in every respect that counted. Which increased the mystery of the succubus’ message: how could there be a woman anywhere near as good for him as this one, who would have any real interest in him? It seemed impossible.
    Then they parted and floated separately. Prior turned around and aimed the cosmic dildo toward the center of the filled room. “Ready,” he said, uncertain what was coming.
    A weird bolus fired out of the member, churning the fluid in its vicinity. Prior couldn’t see it through the opacity of the substance, but the surface dipped and formed a whirlpool leading into it. The level of the fluid descended. Soon they were able to stand, as the tide ebbed down past their chests to their waists. He couldn’t help gazing at Oubliette’s perfectly shaped breasts as they emerged from the bath; her hair halter had come undone in the throes of the rapture. They hardly needed such support, upstanding despite their mass. She saw him looking, and smiled understandingly.
    The level dropped below their crotches, uncovering the Spire. It was flaccid, an unusual state for it; it truly had climaxed and was quiescent, apart from the bolus it had emitted. That continued to draw in fluid, making a sucking sound as air also went into it. “What is that thing?” Prior asked. A SMALL BLACK HOLE, it gouted. “A black hole!” Prior exclaimed. “That’s dangerous.” “Do not be alarmed,” Oubliette said. “The Spire knows what he’s do
    ing.” “I hope so.” Prior retreated to the side of the room. He knew that a black hole had so much gravity that nothing escaped it, not even light, and indeed this one was a blob of darkness. Its event horizon was only about three inches across, but it was gulping in fluid at a phenomenal rate. It had been more like one inch before; it was growing as it fed.
    Before long all the liquid was gone. The black hole started to consume the floor. “My carpet!” Oubliette protested. “Do something,” Prior told the Spire. “Before it comes after us.” AIM ME AT IT. Prior lifted the limp member and