Free Rough & Raw (Notorious Devils Book 2) by Hayley Faiman

that he doesn’t really want me, that I am as disgusting as I’ve tried to explain to him more than once. Prove to him that he can do better than me. Prove to him that Scotty has ruined every piece of me.
    “Yeah, I am,” I lie.
    Kentlee doesn’t say a word. Instead, her eyes narrow and I know that she can tell I’m lying. She’s always been able to see right through me.
    “Where’s Missy these days?” she asks, inquiring about my ex-best friend and my current sister-in-law.
    “Married,” I say with a shrug.
    Missy’s husband is as much of an asshole as mine, except he doesn’t abuse her quite like Scotty did me. No, Darren doesn’t hurt her with his fists or rape her. Instead, he withholds from her, all the things she loves. Money, freedom, and affection. I felt sorry for her for a while, when she would confide in me.
    Then, I became brave enough to tell her of my horrors. She called me a liar. She didn’t believe that her brother would do any of the things I told her about. I didn’t even explain the worst of the things he did to me, yet she didn’t believe a word. I had the bruises to prove it, too. She refused to believe it. That was truly the end of our friendship. I haven’t spoken to her in over four years. Not even at family gatherings. I keep my distance and she does the same.
    “You’re not close anymore, then?” Kentlee asks. I can tell she’s becoming frustrated with my one word answers.
    “She’s married to an asshole. He’s not as bad as Scotty, but he’s still abusive in his own right. I confessed a few truths to her about my own marriage and she called me a liar. She was the last friend I was allowed to have. I haven’t spoken to her in over four years,” I all but yell in annoyance.
    “Brent,” Bates’ low voice warns.
    “No, Bates, I was prodding when I shouldn’t have been,” my sister admits before she turns to me. “All that shit’s done and over with now, Brent. You have a big, huge, group of family and friends now. You’re never going to be alone again, no matter what.”
    I smile, like I should, and nod, as if I believe her. I don’t. I used to be popular. I was a mean girl in school, who slept around after Bates left. I’ve never had a true friend, someone I could count on through thick and thin. Only Kentlee, and I am the one who didn’t support her. I’m the bad person here. I’ll always be that mean girl deep down. It’s as if it is part of me. Once my true colors and my true actions take over, Bates won’t want me and none of the men’s wives will want the clubhouse whore as their friend. Which is exactly what I’ll end up being.
    My fate was sealed a long time ago. Bates needs to see all of me for what I am. He’ll run before I even have to tell him to leave. That will be the easy part. The hard part will be watching him fall in love and make a family with a good woman he deserves. It’s going to kill me when it happens, but I’ll just do what I do best. I’ll fake it out, I’ll fuck it out, and I’ll drink it out. I’ll try to focus on Stella and being the best version of myself in front of her that I can be.
    “ Tigritsa , don’t,” Bates says as he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into his side.
    “Don’t what?” I ask defensively.
    “Whatever crazy shit you’re thinkin’, you need to stop it now. Enjoy today with our little malyshka and your family. Push the crazy shit to the back of your mind, just for today. We’ll deal with it later. For today, have fun,” he murmurs against my ear. My belly quivers at his words.
    I want him so badly; I want to put all the crazy shit behind me. But I can’t. All that crazy shit is screaming loud and proud in my head. I still nod once and offer him a big, fake, smile.
    The rest of the day is drama free. We spend it as a family, and it’s nice.
    Too comfortable — but nice.
    Too good — but nice.
    Too fucking sweet.
    My heart races at the thought of him, at the thought of being