Free OtherSide Of Fear (Outside The Ropes #3) by Ashley Claudy Page A

struggling for air at the same time, but even my lungs were trembling beyond my control. I was drowning, held under by him.
    Closing my eyes, I couldn’t focus on breathing or calming my muscles. His words slammed through me, adding to the destruction.
    “Why?” my voice didn’t sound like my own, it had little air behind it, but the question was shouted in my mind.
    “I’ve done too much. You can go back to Dexter’s till something more permanent is arranged. It’ll be better for you this way.” He slid his hand across my shoulders, leaning in close to me.
    His touch shattered the thin, already cracked shell holding me together. There was nowhere to step without being cut on the shards; nothing to say that would clean it up. The destruction was already done.
    I stood suddenly, breaking free of his embrace, stepping back out of reach.
    “Don’t. Touch. Me. You’re a liar.” My hand vibrated in front of me as I pointed at him, so I curled it into a fist to pull it back under my control. Anger burned through me, consuming all other emotions. “This isn’t for me. Admit it. You just want to send me away so you can do whatever it is you’re doing. Whatever is so fucking important that it comes above everything else. That’s why you’re doing this. So don’t you dare put this on me.”
    He didn’t break eye contact. Staying seated, he looked up at me with his once bright blue eyes now dull and red rimmed, brimming with tears. But he stayed silent.
    “Tell me,” I shouted, wanting to slap him into talking.
    He dropped his head. Leaning forward on his forearms, he rubbed his hands over the top of his hair. “You’re right.”
    I froze. Ice slid through my veins, putting out the heat of anger.
    He rolled his head up to look at me. “I have to do things, and I don’t want you around for it.” He shook his head, lines creasing his face. “But I wasn’t lying. This will be better for you. You’ll have a better life.”
    “Go to hell.” I had more to say but felt like I was sucker punched in the gut.
    He rubbed his hand over his face, and I barely heard his mumbled response, “I’m already there.”
    I charged forward and shoved his shoulders. He sat back on the couch, looking at me with his chin raised like he expected me to hit him. I pulled my arms back and crossed them over my stomach to keep from reacting physically, already regretting what I had done.
    “You’re not getting away from me that easily.” I took a step back, out of the circle of heat his body put off. “I deserve to know why. Why you’re ending a marriage.”
    Marriage .
    It struck like lightning. Shocking me to forgetting the rest of what I was going to say. We were married. Grief tore through me, taking all strength from my legs, and I sunk to the ground. All control gone.
    He was off the couch, next to me, reaching for me. “I’m not—”
    I lifted my hand to keep him back. “I meant everything I said, Gage. I wanted forever with you. This past year”— I searched the air for the words, swallowing the sadness thickening my throat—“was everything. Why would you throw that away? Unless, was it not real for you?” There was no anger left in me. I was drained and exposed. So I laid it out, wanting only honesty, wanting to understand. “Or is there someone else who means more?” My heart squeezed painfully with the question.
    His eyes dropped over me, deep lines ridging his forehead as he shook his head. “Babe, No. There will never be anyone who means more.” He scooted a little closer to me, tentatively reaching for me. “You are everything to me.”
    His warm hand slid to my face, thumb brushing my tears and I couldn’t find the strength to push him away even as he shredded the last bit of my heart with his words. “But I can’t be who you need right now. Maybe not ever.”
    “Why?” I took a breath and pressed, “Why are you doing this? What is it that’s so bad? Everything we’ve been through to get here.