Free Selby Spacedog by Duncan Ball

sigh of relief. ‘That leaves me out,’ he thought as he settled back down to finish his nap. ‘When you’re an interesting blend of different kinds of dogs like me, you’re always safe from dog-nappers.’
    ‘Shouldn’t we hide Selby away?’ Dr Trifle asked. ‘Won’t someone steal him?’
    ‘Heavens no. He’s only a mongrel.’
    ‘You’re right. Why would anyone want to steal a mutt like Selby? They’d be more likely to steal Constable Long’s sheepdog, Streak.’
    ‘Good riddance,’ thought Selby. ‘Streak is the dumbest, nippingest dog in town.’
    ‘And there’s Sergeant Stiffjaw’s police dog, Biff,’ Mrs Trifle added. ‘He’s such a powerfully built and obedient dog.’
    ‘Even better riddance,’ Selby thought. ‘That dog’s not a hound — he’s a hoon! Maybe this dog-stealing racket isn’t such a bad thing after all.’
    ‘And don’t forget Freddington, your cousin Wilhemina’s prize-winning poodle,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘They’d steal him in a flash.’
    ‘Oh, no, not Freddington!’ Selby thought. ‘He’s such a great little guy.’
    ‘So what are these InterPoodle people going to do? ‘Dr Trifle asked.
    ‘Inter
Pooch.
We’ll know in a minute,’ Mrs Trifle said, looking out the window at the ute with ‘InterPooch’ written on the door. ‘I think they have just pulled up in front of the house now.’
    Mrs Trifle opened the door for a man and a woman who quickly flashed their dog-shaped badges at them.
    ‘I’m Agent deWurming from InterPooch,’ the woman said. ‘This is Agent Leesh. You must be Mayor Trifle and Dr Trifle.’
    ‘We are,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘How can we help you?’
    ‘We have a plan to trap these dog-duffers,’ Agent deWurming said. ‘But we’ll need your cooperation.’
    ‘Certainly,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘We’ll help in any way we can.’
    ‘First we’ll need an extremely valuable dog to use as the bait to trap the international dog smugglers.’
    ‘We do have some valuable dogs in town,’ Dr Trifle said.
    ‘Not just valuable,’ Agent Leesh said, ‘but very, very, very valuable. We need a million dollar dog.’
    ‘I don’t think there’s a dog in Bogusville that’s worth that much,’ Mrs Trifle said.
    ‘How about him?’ Agent deWurming said, pointing to Selby.
    Selby felt a warm glow come over him that turned into a blush.
    ‘She knows a valuable dog when she sees one,’ Selby thought.
    ‘I know what you’re going to say,’ Agent deWurming added. ‘You’re going to say that he’s just an ordinary, average, run-of-the-mill, ugly, worthless mutt, aren’t you?’
    ‘Well, I wouldn’t have put it quite that way,’ Mrs Trifle said.
    ‘You’re going to say that he isn’t worth the price of his own dog collar — and you’d be right. But we’re going to pretend that your dog’s a very rare breed of dog,’ Agent deWurming said. ‘Your dog has just become the only Tasmanian Flea-Breeder in the world.’
    ‘A Tasmanian Flea-Breeder?’ Dr Trifle said. ‘Are there any such dogs?’
    ‘No, I just made them up.’
    ‘Some dogs are good for leading blind people around,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Others are good at rounding up sheep. What will you say that this new breed is good for?’
    ‘Nothing,’ Agent Leesh explained. ‘People pay piles of money for useless dogs. We’ll say that your Tasmanian Flea-Breeder sits around breeding fleas and looking ugly.’
    ‘Ugly,’ Selby thought. ‘Me, ugly? I beg your pardon!’
    ‘But that’s silly,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Who would want an ugly dog?’
    ‘Unattractive rich people. They like dogs who are uglier than they are. The dogs make them look good,’ Agent deWurming explained. ‘Now here’s the plan: we tell everyone how valuable your dog is. We spread the story on TV and in newspapers and magazines. Then the dastardly dog smugglers will come looking for him and that’s when we pounce and nab them.’
    ‘Selby won’t be in danger, will he?’ Dr Trifle