Free StudinTexas by Calista Fox Page B

died first. I had no choice but to shoot.”
    “Wow.” She let out a long breath. “I’m so sorry.”
    “I remember their faces. And even though they were the enemy,
they were also human beings. Taking another life, no matter how valid the
reason, isn’t easy to stomach or live with.”
    She seemed to give this the consideration it was due and
then asked, “You had nightmares about it?”
    “Of course.”
    “And you probably struggled over what you could have done
differently. To be effective without…”
    “Killing someone.”
    She sighed. “Really, I am sorry, Sam. I can’t even begin to
imagine… I mean you hear about these ambushes and attacks, read about them in
the paper or on the Internet, but unless you’re personally involved, how can
you possibly know what those who serve our country go through when in combat?
When they’re in life-threatening situations? At the same time, how can you
think that saving lives on your side means you did something wrong?”
    His jaw clenched for a moment. Then he said, “Words help you
rationalize, but you’re right… You don’t know what it’s like until it happens
to you. Until you find yourself in a real-life scenario where you have no
choice but to kill or be killed.”
    She gnawed her bottom lip, tension emitting from her. Then
she said, “Well, clearly I don’t want to kill the ex. I just want him to know
he can’t fuck with me. Not anymore.”
    Sam nodded. “I hear you.”
    Sky raised her hand and brushed her fingers over his cheek.
“You can’t blame yourself for the course of action you took out of necessity
and as a survival tactic—for you and for your unit.”
    “No. But it stays with you, you know? Sometimes it taunts
you, even when you know it shouldn’t. I didn’t sign up to sit behind a desk,
pushing papers. I signed up to fight a war. That equates to defending myself
and those around me. Defending my country.”
    “That’s heroic.” Her gaze drifted to the stable. “But the
horses and I aren’t the only ones suffering from PTSD.”
    “Slight difference, darlin’. I saw someone, when I came back
to the States. Talked it out. It helped.”
    Her gaze flashed back to him. He gave her a pointed look.
    She said, “This isn’t something I want to share. I told you
for a specific reason, but…I don’t like that you know something so distressing
about me.”
    “Maybe I feel the same way about you knowing what I did in
Afghanistan.”
    “You protected yourself and probably saved other lives.”
    He nodded. But still, he challenged her by saying, “Exactly
how big is your ex?”
    She opened her mouth to speak, then snapped it closed. A few
moments passed, and she eventually said, “Right. He’s much more than I can take
on by myself, without a weapon. I obviously didn’t have my gun with me at the
studio that night.”
    He folded his arms over his chest and asked, “You really
want to drive back to Luckenbach this evening?”
    “Yes. I’ll be fine. I’ll even call you when I get there, if
you want me to.”
    “You know I do.”
    She stretched on tiptoe to kiss him. Then she climbed into her
vehicle.
    “Be careful,” he said. “Be safe.”
    “I will.”
    He leaned in and kissed her again, then closed the door.
    Sam watched her Escalade until it disappeared from sight.
And wondered how in hell he was going to keep from worrying about her all damn
night. Every night. Out there in Luckenbach. Alone. No one around. The ex out
there somewhere.
    Dammit.
    He shouldn’t have let her go.
    * * * * *
    Sky felt ill at ease over having told Sam about
Nashville—and seeing how upset it made him. Although he’d clearly tried to keep
himself in check, she’d caught flashes of fury when she’d told him what had
happened to her. Given the kind of man he was, it likely ate away at him.
    But she also felt that telling him was the right thing to
do. The way he kissed her and the sexual urges that raced through her were
proof something