Free Chasing William by Therese McFadden Page A

day
“tests” (so-called because we seniors are exempt from “exams”
during exam week) but I have to see what it’s going to be like now
that I’ve read…”it”. I also know my parents won’t be too keen on
letting me drive myself nine hours north when I’ve missed multiple
days of school. If I make it through today, I’ll be free to follow
my ghost and get as far away from Amanda (and the rest of my
problems) as I possibly can. I know the old “your problems will be
waiting for you when you get back” line, but I’m okay with that.
Whatever’s waiting for me in Minnesota, it’ll help me get through
everything else when I get back. It’s possible I’m setting myself
up for failure, and I know that, but I’d rather go out fighting
than give up now.
    “Are you sure you’re feeling alright
now?”
    “Yeah.” My mom looks worried in a way I’ve
never seen her look before. “Besides, I can’t afford to miss all
the tests and deadlines. I just want to get everything done before
my trip. I’ve got enough to worry about.”
    “You’re sure you want to go on that trip
alone? What happens if you get sick and there’s nothing we can do
and no one to take care of you? I could come with you. I don’t
mind.”
    “Mom…” Now she’s heading into a little more
normal mom territory. I can handle normal worried mom. “I’ll be
fine. I have my cell phone, I’ll be staying with family, and I’m
pretty sure the best thing for my health is a change in
scenery.”
    “Well, do you want me to drive you to school
today? In case you decide you’d rather stay home? Then you don’t
have to drive back alone.”
    “Sure, Mom.” I know she won’t give up until
I say yes, and it actually might be nice to not be alone with my
thoughts just yet. “But I have to get ready.” I manage a weak smile
and my mom nods and walks out of my room, probably to wait by the
door and make sure I don’t leave without her. I guess it’s nice to
know someone still care, although our parents have to love us, so
it doesn’t mean too much. I throw on the first outfit I can find
that seems clean and get ready to go. I’m not really concerned with
how I look. I have no one to look good for and people have gotten
used to seeing me a mess. I try to clean myself up for work, but
even then I don’t think I’ve put on make-up since William’s
funeral. I wanted to look good for him one last time. Lucky for me
I look good in black, or at least I think I do. I can’t wear black
anymore, though. I guess that’ll probably pass with time, too. It’s
just hard to be reminded of certain things.
    I step on Pru’s gift as I start to walk out
the door. I’d forgotten about it with all the Amanda stuff going
on. I wish Pru hadn’t told me about the blog. I know that wouldn’t
change the fact it was there, but sometimes we aren’t supposed to
know what people really think about us. That’s why we have all
these rules about conversation and politeness. We aren’t supposed
to know every thought someone has about us. It might make us guess
a lot or spend hours worrying, but at least it keep us mostly sane.
If Amanda hadn’t typed up that post she probably still would have
thought it, but at least I wouldn’t know. I don’t really care what
Pru got me, but the child inside me can’t leave a present unopened
if it has my name on it, so I pick it up with low expectations.
    She’s wrapped it in about five layers of
tissue paper, but I can tell it’s some kind of picture frame. It
takes awhile to open (Pru didn’t skimp on tape)but it takes my
breath away when I finally get it uncovered. It’s a picture of me
and William, taken at a dance freshman year. I’m not sure how she
got it. Even I didn’t have any real pictures of the two of us.
Everything was on the computer. She’d had this printed on real
photo paper, framed in a plain silver frame, nothing tacky or
“Christmas” themed. It was a real gift. She’d stuck a post-it