Free Death by Chocolate by Michelle L. Levigne

reasoned out that if he was destroyed, they ceased to exist.
    And if they had reasoned that out, he might need to do some revisions to his
auto-bot defense spells. Why? Because every science fiction book he had ever read warned that
when computers or anything that was semi-automatic started to think, they soon evolved to the
point where they considered themselves superior to the Humans--or in this case, the slightly
rebellious, tinkering Fae--who had created them.
    But that was a consideration to leave for later. Right now, he had to follow up on that
brilliant-yet-nasty thought that had tapped him on the shoulder, but that he hadn't quite turned
around to look square in the eyes yet.
    His senses started to clear up and settle back to normal levels as he propelled himself
away from the zone of
batter-to-a-pulp-but-not-quite-before-subduing-the-enemy-and-alerting-the-proper-authorities.
His self-defense auto-bot spells were only dealing with the two Erasers
who had snuck up behind him. There was a third, and were probably more, sneaking through the warehouse.
    The carob-contaminated chocolate had been sorted and stored by the ratio of
     carob-to-chocolate in each contaminated item. Some of the lab technicians working with Guber
     had nearly wept when they found the best quality of dark chocolate intermixed with carob. It was like
dribbling mud into a bottle of five hundred-year-old brandy to give it body and texture. Right
now, Guber was willing to bet that his attackers would only see chocolate in front of them and
not realize they were walking into the equivalent of a poison ivy bath, until it was too late.
    He had to work more on instinct than sight, trusting that he had his bearings straight
while his physical eyes and sense of direction were still clearing up. Guber reached with his
magic for the tank of carob-laced chocolate syrup and sent a streamer of it toward a patch of
warmth on the other side of that literal forest of chocolate trees, bushes, and flowerpots, liberally
interspersed with a menagerie of chocolate statues of birds, deer, unicorns, hydra--whoever sent
that one needed some serious psychological therapy--cats, and of course, the requisite hordes of
chocolate bunnies. After all, Administrator Queen Mellisande had been elected just at the start of
what was the Easter shopping season on Earth, and procuring chocolate bunnies was easier than
breathing.
    Guber made a mental note to test all the bunnies in the morning--if he survived until
morning--because they definitely had come from Human factories. Why hadn't he thought of that
before?
    Forget asking about what you didn't think of , he scolded himself as he grasped
fist-sized boulders of contaminated chocolate using magical streamers, and flung them like
pebbles in multiple slingshots at his invisible enemies. Just think, period!
    Squawks and sounds of slipping and banging into heavy objects, and then the thuds of
other heavy objects falling, and causing other, less heavy objects to fall in succession, gave
Guber a better idea of where his enemies were. And gave him a good idea there were at least six
more. Well, that was more like it. At least eight Erasers had been sent after him. He would have
been insulted if they had only sent two or three.
    Which meant that next time, they would send more, because he was proving right here
just how strong and talented he was, and how good at multi-tasking. That was a sign of strong
royal talent. Which gave him an even bigger shot at the throne, if it was ever re-established.
Which it wouldn't be, if he had anything to do with it.
    He briefly wondered if exposure to the carob in the air was causing brain damage.
Maybe his particular allergic reaction was scattergun thinking. He would have to check into
that.
    Later!
    Now he could see them--seven dark brown, stumbling figures emerging from the falling
aisles of stored chocolate in all their weird and wonderful shapes. Guber semi-melted the
chocolate he flung at them,