Free Husk by J. Kent Messum

from my lap so I can look into her eyes. A click behind my ear is heard, or maybe just felt.
    ‘Ry—’
    Except it isn’t Ryoko looking back at me. Glassy blue eyes between handfuls of blonde hair regard me blankly. I stifle a cry of shock as I scramble backwards, kicking thesheets off the bed.
    ‘What’s wrong?’ Ryoko says, wiping her mouth as she rises.
    I try to catch my breath, scanning her unblemished skin, her ultra-fit body, making sure it really is her. Another vision, another memory I can’t hold on to slips away, despite the seeming importance of it. Ryoko, naked in the afternoon light except for a tight blue T-shirt hiked up over her breasts, recaptures myfull attention.
    ‘Bad dream,’ I mutter, rubbing my eyes.
    Ryoko crawls across the bed and slides on top of me, her dark hair falling over my face as she bites my bottom lip. Hard nipples brush against mine, sending a buzz coursing the length of my body.
    ‘How’bout I give you a wet dream instead?’
    ‘You are my wet dream.’
    ‘That was the right answer,’ Ryoko says, straddling me.
    She shifts herhips a little and I’m past her tightness,thrusting inside heavenly warmth, skin to skin, no contraception needed. Ryoko can’t have kids, and we take full advantage of this fact. My moans are muffled against her breasts, but hers are loud and growing. She bucks on my lap with a series of submissive whimpers until I lift her off and flip her over. We don’t last long. The force of my riding pushesher body down further and further until she is lying on her stomach. Stretched out on top, I grind her ass into the mattress. She squirms with pleasure as I lick her skin slick with perspiration. I entwine her hair in my fist and pull, lifting her head so I can whisper in her ear as I drive myself into her as far as I will go.
    ‘I love you,’ I pant. ‘I fucking love you.’
    ‘I know, I know,’ shesays between short, desperate breaths.
    This is the only control I ever have over a woman who could otherwise own me if she wanted. We slip into a heavy rhythm until we come one after another. I collapse on top of her, sliding on the cool sweat from our bodies.
    ‘Welcome back, baby,’ she says.
    I pull out and kiss her before rolling off. ‘Not for long.’
    ‘Another gig?’
    ‘Gigs,’ I say. ‘Baxterroped me into two local sessions over the next couple days, and then I’m off to London to cover one of Clive’s clients.’
    ‘Pity.’
    ‘We still got tonight.’
    Ryoko glides her fingers over the bruises on my chest. ‘That we do.’
    We lay there for a minute until she makes the mistake of asking me if I’m all spent. I grab her by the wrists and lead her from the bed to the bathroom, where I throw herinto a warm mist. Pressing her naked body up against the glass partition, I take her for another round and think about how much I simply want to stay with her and forget all the work lined up. For now she’s mine and mine alone, the real thing, soft around the edges, but sharp enough to see through the bullshit of bad art and love songs. Our connection is on a level most don’t register. I wish therewas a simpler deal between us. I wish she would tell me she loves me too. Wish to God she was my girl, but Ryoko is nobody’s girl really. She’ll have me over and over again though and I guess that’s good enough.
    Back in my room I watch her pull on her panties and jeans. All I can think is how much I want to tug them off and throw her on the bed again.
    ‘What time is your gig tomorrow?’ Ryokoasks, zipping her fly.
    ‘Scheduled for a noon start.’
    I’m about to ask what her schedule is when I remember she wanted a hiatus. It’s then that I realize that Ryoko hasn’t been into Solace Strategies lately, hasn’t heard about Miller. She seems so content right now. I don’t know how to break it to her. Waiting for the right time seems pertinent, so I say nothing. Ryoko roots through my dresserand puts on an old CBGB T-shirt of mine,