Free Born That Way by Susan Ketchen Page A

“That’s mean. That can’t be right. Do it another way. Ask who you love.”
    I’m not liking this game. No one loves me? My question hadn’t mentioned anything specific about boys and the answer, even though it’s a total scam, feels like a dagger in my heart. However I can’t leave it on a bad note, so I type in, “Who does Sylvia love?” and the pointer goes K . . . A . . . N . . . S . . . A . . . and before it can finish I am so frightened that I slide the mouse up so the cursor is on the big red X in the top right corner and I exit the site.
    â€œWhat did you do that for?”
    I’m feeling sick to my stomach. “I don’t like this spiritual stuff.”
    â€œIt’s nothing to be scared of. It’s not black magic or anything like that, it says so right on the home page.”
    I want to leave, I want to go home and be with my barnacles, but I know Mom won’t be ready and I’m not in her good books because of the salt water thing and because of whatever happened in her talk with Grandpa.
    â€œLook,” says Taylor, “all you need is some protection and you’ll be fine.” She rummages in the top drawer of her desk and pulls out some white fur on a key chain. “How about a rabbit’s foot?”
    â€œAre you kidding? The paw off a dead bunny?”
    â€œOh well, right, it’s more a good luck charm anyway. And you need something in the way of a spiritual protector. That’s what I like about unicorns. They are strong and good. Any time I feel frightened I imagine my unicorn is protecting me and surrounding us with white light and love. Try it. Close your eyes and imagine.”
    I close my eyes and see the unicorn from my dreams, laughing. My eyes pop open.
    â€œYou’re not trying hard enough. You are a virgin, aren’t you? Because only virgins can tame unicorns.”
    This is so disgusting that I refuse to answer. I have no plans ever for not being a virgin.
    â€œOkay, just checking, you never know these days. Close your eyes. Imagine you’re surrounded by white light and a beautiful unicorn is guarding you with his golden horn.”
    I try again. I see the unicorn. He’s looking kind of smug but he’s not laughing any more. There’s white light all over the place and Kansas is standing on the other side of the unicorn with a hand on his back and I start to cry.

CHAPTER NINE
    What a disaster of a day. Mom is mad at me for trying to poison her, perhaps only subconsciously, but still. Dad is mad at Grandpa. Mom and Dad are mad at each other. I have cried in front of Taylor, who will now think I’m even more of a baby than she used to think, and she’ll tell her sisters and pretty soon everyone in the world will know. I’m exhausted, but also so scared stiff by that wee-gee game that I don’t want to go to sleep. What if I have a dream with evil spirits that do something to me or take me away or kill me or eat my soul? What if I wake up a zombie or don’t wake up at all because I’m dead?
    I decide to stay up reading all night. I don’t know how many nights I can do this before dying from lack of sleep, but I don’t care.
    Unfortunately, Mom sees the light coming from underneath my door and tells me to put it out and go to sleep. Before I turn off the light I move the barnacle family from my desk to my bedside table. I figure I can talk to them all night long and stay awake that way. There’s a bit of light coming in around my curtains from the streetlight so I can see the dark outline of the rock in the white dish and the faint jagged lines of the barnacles under the water.
    After I hear Mom and Dad go to bed, I sit up and throw off the covers because if I’m cold and not too cozy I won’t fall asleep. But, as usual, the furnace has been turned down, so by eleven o-clock I’m feeling pretty chilled. I put on a sweater and a pair of socks. It