Free Forever After by Karen Rose Smith Page A

tugged with gentle pressure.  She cried out and heaved toward him for more.
    Unbearably aroused, he lifted his head and caressed her breasts.  "You are such a responsive, beautiful woman."
    Her eyes glistened.  "It's because of you, Seth."
    Her response was so unpracticed, so guileless.  Not at all what he expected.  But it was her honesty and loyalty that touched him most of all.  He had to find out...  "Do you always respond like this?  Are you always this passionate?"
    She looked blank for a moment.  "I don't understand."
    He put it plainly.  "Are you like this with all men, or is it different with me?"
    She shook her head as if to clear it then gazed at him with a mixture of shock and anger.  "Do you take this survey with every woman you kiss?"
    He had to get past her defensiveness.  He was learning honesty worked best with her.  "It's important for me to know.  You're not just any woman."
    She considered his words and said softly, "I haven't been with a man for a while."
    "How long?"
    She lifted her head and looked away from him.  "What does it matter?"
    "Believe me, it matters.  How long?"
    "Four years," she said tersely.
    "Four years?"  A pall spread over him as he understood something he'd tried to ignore or disbelieve.  "How many men have you been with Darcy?"
    Her color rose.  This time he didn't know if it was anger or embarrassment.
    "You want a number?" she asked, trying to make light of the question.
    "How many?" he pressed.
    "One."
    He let out a huge puff of air and swore.  It was worse than he thought.  This woman didn't have "affairs" or temporary interludes.  "What happened?"
    Darcy pushed herself up "He left. He stayed for the summer then he left."
    "You thought there would be more."
    "Of course, I did."  The hurt was huge and awful in her eyes.  "He said he loved me.  I thought he'd stay, or ask me to go with him.  But that was never in his plans."
    Seth sensed there was more to the story, but that didn't concern him.  What concerned him was what Darcy thought now.
    He felt awkward and uncomfortable.  He didn't want to use or hurt her.  "Is this what you intended to happen tonight?"
    She fastened her bra, her cheeks flaming brighter.  "No.  I mean...not yet."
    "Not yet?"
    "No.  Of course not.  I want to get to know you...share with you."
    Share?  Had he ever shared?  Not with his mother--she was too preoccupied to listen.  Not with his father--he was burdened enough.  Not with his friends.  Seth had never wanted them to see the hurt inside.  As an adult, to share meant to put power in someone else's hands.  He wouldn't do that.
    "What do you want to share, Darcy?"
    "Thoughts, feelings..."
    The depth of what she wanted forked through him.  "I can't do that."
    "Why not?"
    He shook his head.  "I don't live my life like that."
    "Tell me why, Seth."
    "Because I don't have time, because I don't want to, because--"
    "Because you're afraid."
    Her insight hit the mark.  "Maybe I am.  Maybe I have reason to be.  I told you straight out I wasn't looking for a permanent relationship."
    "I know you did.  And I told you I wasn't interested in a short term fling.  So why did you ask me out?"
    "Because you said you didn't want heartache.  I thought we could see each other, enjoy each other..."
    "And not get burned?  I might be inexperienced, but I'm not stupid."
    "Relationships don't have to be restrictive," he shot back.  "Men and women can enjoy each other's company without turning themselves inside out."
    "Friendship's one thing.  And even friendship, if it's good, hurts when something happens to it.  But true intimacy is something entirely different.  I could never take it lightly.  And if you ever found it, you couldn't either."
    True intimacy.  What she meant was love, commitment, attachment.  Everything he avoided.  He backed up a step.  A thundering silence and much more stood between them.
    Seth was tempted to reach out to Darcy, to erase the sadness in her