Free Never Forever by L. R. Johnson Page B

emergency room, I was led back to the secluded room. As I walked into his room the man lying on the gurney did not look like my husband. This man’s body was broken, bloody and bruised, making him unrecognizable. My mind kept telling me over and over that this could not be Andrew. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that it was a dream, the reality of what had happened screamed in my face. He couldn’t die. That is a selfish thing to do and he is not a selfish man. The choice was in neither of our hands, though. I didn’t want him to leave me, but no matter how much I didn’t want it to happen, I knew deep down he wasn’t going to survive this. His injuries were too extensive. I held his battered and bruised hand and,” I close my eyes tightly trying to fight back the tears, “watched him leave this world. A huge part of my heart died that night with him.”
    I look up at Olivia’s shocked and sorrowful face. “My nightmare was not over yet. The universe was about to throw one more challenge at me.” As I close my eyes again I can see and smell every detail. The different types of sweet Jell-O salad, funeral casserole, and many different combinations of heavy amounts of cologne flood my senses. “The day of his funeral I had been extremely sick. I had to just power through that day with a detached sense of obligation. I thought it was just the stress and emotional heartache I was under until one of Andrew’s friends jokingly asked if I was pregnant. It was no joke. I found out that night, the same day as his funeral, that I was in fact pregnant. So there I was, an eighteen year old pregnant widow.”
    As I open my eyes I notice that Olivia’s face is completely soaked by the tears freely flowing down her. Her contorted face is now mirroring my broken down expression. We both sit here in complete silence as the thick, depressive atmosphere within the room envelops us in sorrow and pain. I never meant to share my burden with anyone, least of all my one and only friend here, but now that I have a heavy weight has been lifted. The affliction I have been carrying is now floating all around us and can finally dissipate. I have been bearing the weight of that for so long, though it is a heavy burden for Olivia, I now can breathe. At last I can hope to let go, whereas before, I had no hope. 
    Olivia’s eyes are transfixed onto the floor, while she shakes her head back and forth. “Blimey. Knock me down with a feather.”
    Instantly I look up at her with a taken-back expression. “What in the hell does that mean?”
    Olivia looks over at me, instantly remembering that I am not from here. A wide smile spreads across her face as she tries to muffle a snicker forming within her. An immediate transforming sensation comes over me. All the pain and sorrow bubbling within me burst into a hilarious rolling freight train. No matter how hard I try to contain it I can’t stop the laughter from coming. A loud, rolling laugh explodes from my mouth, followed by an incredibly embarrassing snort.
    Huge bursts of giggles roll out of Olivia’s mouth, “What was that sound?” she states, referring to my lovely pig-like snort. I don’t usually make that sound, but because of the heavy emotional shift happening within me the snort was coming out whether I like it or not.
    We both just lose control and begin laughing hysterically. The swing of emotions causes my body to tremble. No matter how hard I try to stop laughing I can’t. Everything within me embraces this change in my emotions. The giggles form in the pit of my stomach, where my intense pain once resided. This new sensation is a welcome change, but is also sending my body into a state of exhaustion.
    Our hysteria slowly subsides, leaving us feeling confused and fatigued. I have no idea whether to laugh or cry again. A forceful sigh escapes my mouth as I stare at Olivia gratefully. “Please don’t tell anyone my situation, especially Callum.”
    Her eyes widen as