Free Away Games: Science Fiction Sports Stories by Mike Resnick Page A

it.
    “This is Ahmed?” he asked, gesturing toward the huge pink elephant munching contentedly on a mouthful of straw.
    “Impressive, isn’t he?” said Khan. “As elephants go, that is.”
    “Do you mind if I pet him?” asked Mallory.
    Khan shrugged. “As you wish.”
    Mallory approached Ahmed gingerly. When the long pink trunk snaked out to identify him, he held it gently in one hand and stroked it with the other, then pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and rubbed the trunk vigorously. No color came off. Then he checked the tattoo on the back of the animal’s left ear: it was Number 831.
    Suddenly there was a loud commotion coming from the direction of the track, and a moment later Four-Eyes came running into the barn.
    “Hey, buddy,” he said, panting heavily, “you’d better do something about your friend!”
    “What’s she done this time?” asked Mallory.
    “Come see for yourself.”
    Four-Eyes headed back to the track, Mallory and Khan hot on his heels.
    The scene that greeted them resembled a riot. Elephants were trumpeting and racing all over the track, while their riders lay sprawled in the dirt. Four of the pachyderms, including a pink one, had broken through the rail and were decimating foreign cars in the parking lot. Track officials were running the length of the homestretch, waving their hands and shouting at Felina, who seemed to be flying a few feet off the ground, just ahead of them.
    “What the hell’s going on?” demanded Mallory.
    “You know how they use a rabbit to make the greyhounds run faster at the dog tracks?” said Four-Eyes. “Well, we use a mouse at the elephant tracks. And instead of the dogs chasing the rabbit, the mouse chases the elephants.” He paused for breath. “We don’t use it in workouts, but the officials always give it one test run around the track before the afternoon races, just to make sure it’s in good working order. Your catgirl pounced on it when it passed by here, and her weight must have fouled up the mechanism, because it’s going twice as fast as usual. Panicked every elephant on the track.”
    Mallory watched as Felina and the mouse hit the clubhouse turn four lengths ahead of the track officials, who soon ran out of breath and slowed down to a walk. The detective stepped under the rail and stood waiting for the catgirl, hands on hips, as she entered the backstretch. As the mouse neared him, Felina gathered herself and sprang high in the air, coming to rest in Mallory’s hastily outstretched arms.
    “It wasn’t real,” she pouted.
    “I thought I told you to stay where you were,” he said severely, setting her down on her feet.
    “They cheated,” muttered Felina, glaring balefully at the artificial mouse as it continued circling the track.
    Mallory looked down the stretch and saw the furious but exhausted officials slowly approaching him. Taking Felina firmly by the hand, he ran to the rail and ducked under it.
    “Come on,” he said, racing to the barn area. “The last thing I need is to get barred from the grounds because of you.”
    They zigged and zagged in amongst the buildings, finally ducked into an empty stall, and stood motionless for a few moments until the track officials lost their enthusiasm for the hunt and began slowly returning to the clubhouse.
    “Well?” said a voice at his side.
    Mallory turned and found himself facing the Grundy.
    “Well, what?”
    “What have you accomplished for my money thus far, besides causing a small riot?”
    “It’s early in the day yet,” said Mallory defensively.
    “You didn’t seriously think Khan painted one of his elephants to look like Ahmed, or that I failed to check the tattoo number before hiring you, did you?”
    “No but I felt I ought to check, just to be on the safe side.”
    “It was a total waste of time.”
    “Perhaps but if you don’t tell me these things, I have to find them out for myself,” replied Mallory. “Is there anything else I should