her team. She was losing the battle of keeping Gage at bay until she could find answers.
She didn’t handle emotional chaos well and when it became too much she lashed out. “I can’t just forget what happened even if you can.”
“Jesus, Sabrina, how can you say that? Didn’t I give you a traffic cam shot of Rikker in DC? The agency doesn’t have that either.”
Guilt came knocking and her conscience opened the door, but she was not conceding. Not after all she and her men had gone through to be here today.
“Names.” She shoved that word at him to cut through all the crap. “I’ve been asking for names and I still don’t have them.”
He chuckled and it sounded sad. “Asking you to trust me is clearly out of the realm of possibilities, so how about a little patience while I figure things out?”
“Patience? I’m out of it. I used it up over the last three years.”
“Not my fault. You could have been here helping me find answers instead of hiding from me.”
She shouldn’t have to defend herself to anyone, but neither would she let that comment stand. “I was taking care of my people who almost died that night. Josh should have.” The fear of watching Josh barely cling to life had tortured her and Dingo. She owed Josh, Dingo, Tanner and Blade for what they went through when someone traded their lives for Rikker’s.
Rikker had never come back to the CIA–at least not as far as she knew–but only the CIA had known about that mission.
That’s what she’d been told.
She added, “Hiding from you was second to all that.” Her head pounded. She hadn’t eaten in fifteen hours and she could sleep on the hood at this point. “I can’t keep doing this, Gage. We’re on. We’re off. It’s making me crazy.”
“Then stop running from me.”
She flinched internally. “I don’t run from anyone.”
“What do you call dropping off the face of the earth without a word?” he said, power booming through his words, but not shouting. Not yet. “I hunted for you every minute . You could have let me know you were alive, but you were convinced that I had betrayed you,” Gage’s commanding voice never wavered until he said, “I would never have doubted you.”
His voice shook.
Her heart wobbled at the sound.
She hurt now to think about Gage here alone and thinking she was dead, but back then she’d been furious with everyone in the CIA who had known about her team’s mission. She’d threatened to kill any CIA agent who came near her.
The next time she’d seen Gage, she’d already set up shop in Atlanta and he’d refused to share anything about the UK op. That refusal had doubled the thick walls around her heart.
She longed to forget all the bad history and feel what they had before, but she was made of stronger mettle than that. Had to be. “I got in this car thinking you had new information. Not to argue.”
“I do have something to tell you.” He sounded disheartened, but locked it away, always holding on to that unshakeable control.
“I’m only interested in information on one person.”
“You, of all people, know it’s never as simple as that in this business.”
She brushed loose hairs off her face, needing to move. Sitting still was not helping her frame of mind. “Whatever. Are you going to share this news or is it on a need-to-know-basis and I don’t need to know?”
He turned a thoughtful gaze on her and said, “Over this past year, your group has discovered more about the Orion Hunters than anyone I’ve been in contact with since you brought the hunters to my attention. I put two people, the only two I trust in the agency, on digging up anything they could find. They uncovered three major divisions of the hunters. The physicists your people extracted from North Korea–”
“Under orders from the State Department.” Sabrina had owed the department for an issue one of her people created that couldn’t be avoided, and it put her in a position where she’d