Free Older and Wilder: A Steamy Gay MM Romance by B.J. Totts

shrugged but took it, and Derek pulled him into a rough hug. “Good luck with the baby. Really. Congratulations. That kid’s lucky. Coming into a great family.”
     
                  Mike gave him a pat on the back and then stepped away quickly to stand beside his wife and cast a protective glance at his son. 
     
                  Derek approached Jesse cautiously, leaving some space between them but standing close enough to keep their conversation private as long as they spoke softly.
     
                  “It’s been a good few days,” Derek said.  “But my future’s not in a small town Texas.  I’ve already tried this.”
     
                  “Drive safely,” Jesse answered.  It was a ridiculous thing to say, but there were no words for what he was feeling.  He’d let his heart get drug into this situation.  They were just old friends who’d been lovers for a few days.  It had all been hot, frantic and needy, the end always visible even as the moments slipped past.  If Derek had any soft thoughts about him, he hadn’t shown it.  He'd never said “I love you.” 
     
                  Derek stepped closer and drew Jesse into a hug, his arms tight and hard against him, squeezing as if he knew this was the last time he’d get to hold him.  The words were barely a whisper as he spoke them.  “Last chance, Jess.  Come with me.”
     
                  “Stop teasing.” he said aloud, and silently he ordered himself not to cry.
     
                  “I’m not teasing.  Be brave.  Take a shot.”
     
                  “You’re serious?”  Jesse pulled back enough to look up at Derek, scanning his face for insincerity, and found only concern and hope.
     
                  “Yeah, I’m serious.  I'm not ready for this to be over.  Come with me.”
     
                  Barely comprehensible thoughts spun through Jesse's mind with the unfocused destructive energy of a tornado until one found its way free.  “Mom will need help with the baby.”
     
                  “Your mom has had kids before.  She knows how to do this, and she’s got Mike. You don’t have to plan around them.  What do you want, Jess?”
     
                  “I can’t be that far from my family.”
     
                  “I’ll be your family.”
     
                  It hurt to say the words, but better to face the truth now than to let himself keep pretending this was something it wasn’t.  “You just like having sex with me,” he said. 
     
                  “Wrong.  I love you and I love fucking you.”
     
                  The shock of Derek's language broke through the storm of his thoughts, and Jesse glanced at his parents to see if they’d heard what he'd said, then smacked his arm and scolded, “Derek!”  The rest of Derek's words settled in.  “You love me?”
     
                  “Yeah.  And I thought you felt the same.”
     
                  “I do.”  His heart pounded as he said the words he'd fought not to admit to himself. Of course he loved Derek, had for years, but the idea that he might be able to do something with that love had seemed so outrageous that he'd been blind to what had been going on the last several days.
     
                  “It’s all on you, Jess. No more messing around.  Go or stay?”
     
                  Jesse closed his eyes and tried to picture what he wanted without the distraction of Derek's full lips peeking out at his from the scruff of his beard, but his mind was full of images from the last few days.  The wrinkles around Derek's eyes as he smiled at him. The tan lines and scars Jesse had traced over Derek's skin that formed a map of his life. The way he talked to him when he cooked, relishing good food and conversation.  The