Free Leave Me Breathless by Helenkay Dimon

defendants and bias juries. Funny how no one ever questioned my professional integrity until a year ago, and now everyone watches every move I make,” she said.
    “A bomb did go off in front of you. Some folks are watching and talking because of that and not because of anything else.”
    “Admittedly, the timing was not great.”
    “Is there ever a good time for attempted murder?”
    “Not that I can see.”
    Mark tapped on the bottom of his shoe. “What did you think would happen when you said those things to Steve Jenner at his sentencing hearing? Reporters were in the courtroom. His attorneys were looking for grounds for appeal.”
    “I am aware of that.”
    “Hell, his wife continues to deny the reality of being married to a rapist and murderer. She wants someone to blame for the crapper of a life she’s been handed, and you gave her a prime target. All but painted a bull’s-eye on your back.”
    “You think she’s behind the threats?”
    “If so, not on her own, and I doubt she’s paying anyone. She ran through almost every dime on her husband’s legal fees. There’s just nothing left. Besides, I’ve had someone on her ever since she started screaming at you in the courtroom. There’s no evidence she’s physically gunning for you. She’s spending too much time going on talk shows and complaining about renegade judges. It looks as if she’s found her calling.”
    The realization of just how much Mark knew about this other woman and her whereabouts stunned Emma. “Is digging into her life part of your official job?”
    “It’s one that helps me sleep at night.”
    Emma knew that was as close as he would ever get to admitting he cared about her. She knew how he operated. They had grown up together. Slept together as recently as a week ago when he showed up on her doorstep and without a word led her upstairs. Otherwise, he stayed disconnected, passing messages through Ben and keeping a safe distance.
    But they shared a violent past. Because of that he should understand how hearing the parade of lies about victims would chip away at her reserve. “You don’t know what it’s like.”
    “Enlighten me.”
    “I sit up there day after day and listen to victims get bashed and maligned. I hear fantastical stories about how rape victims asked to be hurt. How being out at night means a woman deserves to be tortured and killed. About how husbands snap and kill the ones they supposedly love and should be forgiven because it was a one-time thing, as if that even makes sense.”
    “You’ve been on the bench for seven years. None of this was new.”
    “But it builds up. You watch the juries and see the defense attorney connect with someone. Feel that one person start to believe that a respectable businessman like Steve Jenner couldn’t possibly beat and rape women in the basement of his house. That his wife would know, because any reasonable human would, even though the evidence of his guilt is clear.”
    “You’re too close to this situation.”
    Emma relived every minute of the damning trial information every time she closed her eyes. “You can’t hear that kind of testimony and not feel something.”
    Mark’s eyes clouded with an emotion she couldn’t name. “You know what I mean.”
    “I don’t.”
    “You have to separate Jenner from your mom.”
    Emma knew the suggestion was coming. Still, Mark’s words jabbed at her midsection. “This isn’t about her.”
    “Of course it is.” His voice grew softer the longer he talked.
    If he had yelled or ordered, she would have had a defense. But he sat there, listening and the words spilled out of her. “I just want to feel clean again.”
    “Emma—”
    “Ben enjoys the job, gets a rush out of the vibe in his courtroom. Not me. Not anymore. I get swamped with a coldness I can’t shake.”
    “Take a leave of absence.”
    Quit and run. Mark had been pushing that agenda for years. She used to think his words were about protecting her. Now she knew