Free Checkout by Anna Sam

girl doesn’t get all those details, but her boss does).
    Others will show you some ID belonging to their friend or grandmother. The photo is a bit of a giveaway.Yup, those customers have really got the point.
    ‘Well, what’s the difference? And, anyway, my friend was here just a couple of minutes ago.’
    ‘Can’t you ask her to come back?’ Bizarrely, you didn’t see the friend.
    ‘She’s gone.’ Getting agitated, ‘For God’s sake!’
    And the customer leaves you her shopping and rushes off.
     
    In any case, never give in (even if you find them very attractive). If there’s ever a problem, particularly with an overseas cheque, your management will be quick to tell you that ‘you didn’t do your duty as a checkout girl’ and make you pay. Be an incorruptible checkout girl! (But you can laugh inside when you see Mr Jones’s face when he was twenty on his driving licence or that Mr Smith was bald two years ago on his ID card and today it’s visibly no longer the case …)

BLESS YOU!
    Notice for Staff (following several complaints from customers)
     
    Checkout girls, do you have a cold? Please stay at home. Even if your doctor can’t sign you off work because your cold is benign, stay at home anyway, you plague-stricken person! Why? Because you touch customers’ items with your hands, which are covered in germs, and you might sneeze at any moment and ‘blow your nose on their bread’!
    Do you have a cold because customers are forever sneezing and coughing all over you? So? The customer is king. They have a right to giveyou their bugs but they do not want to get yours.
     
    Enjoy your time off.
     
    The Management

£19.99 PLEASE!
    Beeeep!
    Â 
    C HECKOUT GIRL
    Â£9.99 please.
    Â 
    The customer hands you a £10 note. You give him a penny in change and bless the inventors of such tricksy prices.
    Â£9.99 instead of £10.
    Â£19.99 instead of £20.
    Â£99.99 instead of £100.
    â€˜That’s a good deal! Quick, let’s buy it! Life is cheap!’ So say consumers every day.
    You can also thank these inventors for all the wonderfully fulfilling moments you will have.
    Instead of spending ten minutes cashing up, you will spend fifteen because of all the 1p, 2p and 5p pieces you will have been given during the day. And your fingers will be covered in a thin layer of copper mixed with … dirt.
    More than fifty times a day you will have to answer the following questions and respond to the following remarks:
    C USTOMER
    Â£19.99? Couldn’t you just say twenty?
    Â 
    C HECKOUT GIRL
    Well, no. My job is just to tell you the exact amount to pay.
    Â 
    C USTOMER
    Can’t you round it up?
    Â 
    C HECKOUT GIRL
    I’m not in charge, talk to the management.
    Â 
    C USTOMER
    Keep the change!
    Â 
    C HECKOUT GIRL
    1p, how kind! But we’re not allowed to accept tips, however small and generous they are.
    Â 
    C USTOMER
    I’m fed up with all these little coins in my wallet.
    Â 
    C HECKOUT GIRL
    Save them for charity.
    Â 
    C USTOMER
    I’m 1p short, can’t you let me off?
    Â 
    C HECKOUT GIRL
    Sorry, I’d like to but it’s not possible.
    Â 
    â€¦ yes, it works both ways.
    Not forgetting that ‘Nineteen-ninety-nine-please’ takes nearly twice as long to say as ‘Twenty-pounds-please’. At the end of the day the time lost must represent about two or three fewer customers served by the checkout girl. If I ran a supermarket, I’d be worried.

    News Update (rumour and gossip)
    According to the latest news, the Bank of England has run out of small coins. Too many people are keeping them at home in jars or piggy banks (how sweet …). They might be removed from the market. Yippee! Rejoice, dear customers, the prices might be rounded up one day.

MY TILL, MY LOVE
    Did you think that once you were in the swing of things life on the till would be easy? You and your till are one, your gestures automatic, you no longer have to think, and