Free Tanglewood Tales by Nathaniel Hawthorne

our
national character, and calculated to increase, rather than diminish,
the glory which our ancestors have transmitted to us, and which we
ourselves have proudly vindicated in our warfare with the cranes."
    The orator was here interrupted by a burst of irrepressible enthusiasm;
every individual Pygmy crying out that the national honor must be
preserved at all hazards. He bowed, and, making a gesture for silence,
wound up his harangue in the following admirable manner:
    "It only remains for us, then, to decide whether we shall carry on
the war in our national capacity—one united people against a common
enemy—or whether some champion, famous in former fights, shall be
selected to defy the slayer of our brother Antaeus to single combat.
In the latter case, though not unconscious that there may be taller men
among you, I hereby offer myself for that enviable duty. And believe me,
dear countrymen, whether I live or die, the honor of this great country,
and the fame bequeathed us by our heroic progenitors, shall suffer no
diminution in my hands. Never, while I can wield this sword, of which
I now fling away the scabbard—never, never, never, even if the crimson
hand that slew the great Antaeus shall lay me prostrate, like him, on
the soil which I give my life to defend."
    So saying, this valiant Pygmy drew out his weapon (which was terrible to
behold, being as long as the blade of a penknife), and sent the scabbard
whirling over the heads of the multitude. His speech was followed by an
uproar of applause, as its patriotism and self-devotion unquestionably
deserved; and the shouts and clapping of hands would have been greatly
prolonged, had they not been rendered quite inaudible by a deep
respiration, vulgarly called a snore, from the sleeping Hercules.
    It was finally decided that the whole nation of Pygmies should set to
work to destroy Hercules; not, be it understood, from any doubt that
a single champion would be capable of putting him to the sword, but
because he was a public enemy, and all were desirous of sharing in the
glory of his defeat. There was a debate whether the national honor did
not demand that a herald should be sent with a trumpet, to stand over
the ear of Hercules, and after blowing a blast right into it, to defy
him to the combat by formal proclamation. But two or three venerable
and sagacious Pygmies, well versed in state affairs, gave it as their
opinion that war already existed, and that it was their rightful
privilege to take the enemy by surprise. Moreover, if awakened, and
allowed to get upon his feet, Hercules might happen to do them a
mischief before he could be beaten down again. For, as these sage
counselors remarked, the stranger's club was really very big, and had
rattled like a thunderbolt against the skull of Antaeus. So the
Pygmies resolved to set aside all foolish punctilios, and assail their
antagonist at once.
    Accordingly, all the fighting men of the nation took their weapons, and
went boldly up to Hercules, who still lay fast asleep, little dreaming
of the harm which the Pygmies meant to do him. A body of twenty thousand
archers marched in front, with their little bows all ready, and the
arrows on the string. The same number were ordered to clamber upon
Hercules, some with spades to dig his eyes out, and others with bundles
of hay, and all manner of rubbish with which they intended to plug up
his mouth and nostrils, so that he might perish for lack of breath.
These last, however, could by no means perform their appointed duty;
inasmuch as the enemy's breath rushed out of his nose in an obstreperous
hurricane and whirlwind, which blew the Pygmies away as fast as they
came nigh. It was found necessary, therefore, to hit upon some other
method of carrying on the war.
    After holding a council, the captains ordered their troops to collect
sticks, straws, dry weeds, and whatever combustible stuff they could
find, and make a pile of it, heaping it high around the head of
Hercules. As a great