Free The Quest by Olivia Gracey Page B

like this:
                  “Got any pics?”
                  So I replied with a “Hi.” Thinking the guy should have greeted me first if he was a gentleman.
                  “Hay,” yeah, he couldn’t spell hey and he followed it up with a phone number adding, “text me.”
                  Seriously? Dude if you would have read my profile you would have seen I wasn't looking for a hookup. Read the damn profile. Of course, I ignored him, but his one line emails would keep coming.
                  “Can you post a pic?” Followed by another, “I really like football.” And he tags me with the pet name “mysterious lady.” My profile gave you more information about me than you would find if you had met me in person. It revealed all my likes, dislikes, goals, ambitions, work, passions, plus everything I was looking for in a man. You can’t call it a mystery. I even described myself to a science. There just wasn’t a picture. Yeah, I know guys are visual so are we, but you have to read it. It was a requirement I had in order to ask me out. I even joked with some that there would be a quiz just to see if they had read it.
                  This guy was getting on my damn nerves! He had me yelling at his emails, “Just because you read the first line in my ‘about me ’ section you have to mention that you like football. That does not make me go, Yay! He likes football! He’s the perfect guy for me! Yay! ” Really? I haven’t met a man yet that didn’t like football or some kind of sport. Get a clue and learn how to read. My personality required paragraphs. I require depth and substance. I need to be able to relate, not like the talker mind you, but meaningful mutual conversation. I want a guy that let me talk too. Not that I had very important stuff to say, but I needed to be heard every once in a while. You know, so I’d know I was alive and breathing.
                  Another guy started off really good then quickly went to a one line conversation too. Too bad too. I was hooked when he said my profile was awesome and when he asked about my workouts I thought this guy had actually read it. He had a sweet build, one of six foot four, edge over edge muscles and a nice rounded smile. The only issue I had, was one of his pictures looked like he could be Radley’s twin. Ugh! I don’t want another Radley or anyone that resembles him. I felt it was bad ju-ju, right from the start. Not that I believe in that but I was not ruling it out either. I kept chatting with him knowing I would never meet him in person. As it turned out, he quickly became one with no depth and no substance too so I was off the hook. Give me dialog Radley-Dude look alike! Give me something that would make me want to meet you in person. Tell me something about you other than what you like to eat in those emails. I really liked that you take care of yourself, loved that actually, but your profile says nothing about you that stands out from the rest. What can you tell me that would make me want to say, “I’d like to meet you in person.” and “How about we grab a drink tonight?”
                  I think I have found my new profession; profile writing. I could teach these guys a thing or two about how to capture a woman's heart. I could host a writing class in a local bar, set up a chalkboard, post key words that every man should include in his profile, and teach them what to say in an email when they reach out to the Ladies. I could pass out cliff notes, and cheat sheets for dates, just in case they still don’t have a clue after class. But, I could graduate the ones who do with beers.
                  Oh, I could also teach them how to take a selfie so they would post something other than the pics with their last kill; a deer, a turkey, or the biggest fish they caught. Who are they posting those pics for? Another man? You really think